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Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit


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My Dad has always stood with me…

By the Rev. Dr. Ed Hird

Ed Hird Photo Jpeg May 2004

I remember when I lost my voice for 18 months back in 1980.  I will never forget resigning my job, going on sick leave, driving to the Government Employment office only to find out that my company did not have any long-term disability insurance.  In the midst of those devastating experiences, my strongest feeling was that I was disappointing my father.  However my dad was not feeling that way at all.  He was just concerned that I DSCF2160recover my voice and get back on track.  Deep within most of us is this inexpressible desire to please our fathers.

In the early 1980’s, I spent almost five years in Abbotsford, during which time we had our second child.  Each week I went to visit the sick in the local hospital.  While visiting the psychiatric ward, I met a man who had Anglican and Roman Catholic parents.  He said to me that he hadn’t seen a priest in thirty years.  Out of the blue, he told me that he never prayed to God.  ‘God was too angry’, he said. ‘You just couldn’t talk to him.  He would always blow up.’  The man went on to say that he only prayed to the Virgin Mary.  ‘She was kind, loving, gentle, and would always listen’, he said.

I said to the man, ‘Does God ever remind you of your earthly father?’.  ‘Funny you should say that’, he said. ‘ They are just the same.  They never listen and they always blow up at me.’  I went on to say, ‘What about your own mother? Does she remind you of the Virgin Mary?’  His eyes brightened up, and he said to me, ‘You must know my parents.  My mother is just like the Virgin Mary.  She always listens to me’.

I said to the man, ‘Your problem is not with God.  It is with your earthly father.  If you are willing to deal with the pain of your relationship to your dad, you will find that DSCF3371you will be able to talk to God.’  A week later, a local psychiatrist phoned me up and informed me that this patient had experienced a major breakthrough in his counseling as a result.

In A.A., they say that you are as sick as your secrets.  I would agree, but also add that we are as healthy as our relationship with our fathers.  So many men nowadays are caught in painful ambivalence and confusion, because they have never really felt affirmed and blessed by their own fathers.  The gift of a healthy father is the gift of courage.  The gift of a healthy father is the gift of being willing to lay down our lives, if necessary, for our families.  In this age of compromise, I give thanks for my own father who has not been afraid to stand up for his family and his convictions.

Without a father who believes in you, it may be very hard as a teenager to feel that you are going to make it through.  They say that teenagers experience most things far more intensely than many adults.  Their highs are twice as high and their lows are twice as low.  That is why premature sexual intimacy and the usual relational breakups are so deeply devastating for our teenagers.  A courageous father does more than just give a condom to his kid.  He explains to him the real risk of broken hearts and diseased bodies, as well of the benefits of waiting for real commitment.  By our faithfulness to our wives, despite the ups and down of life, we give our children courage to believe that they too can enter faithful lasting relationships.  The concept of future marriage for many teenagers and young adults has become filled with so much fear and uncertainty.  Yet as Dr. Laura put it, ‘Without commitment, there is no future.’  Courageous fathers give to their sons and daughters the courage to commit to the unknown future.

One of the things I love the most about the DSCF1656North Shore  is the beautiful trails that are woven throughout our area.  Recently I encountered a neighbour walking his dog.  Out of the blue, I said, ‘What is a courageous father?’  He said, ‘Someone who holds down a job and cares for his children’.  Simple words, but very true.  In this age of compromise, in this pressure-cooker world, so many fathers are tempted to run away from it all.  The stress just becomes too much.

 

I thank God for my own father who never ran from our family during good times and bad, during sickness and health, for better or for worse.  I thank God for being the father of the fatherless, the one who gives me courage to not run from stress, who gives me the courage to stand my ground when everything else is falling apart, to stand for truth when many seem to be compromising.

The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin

-author of the award-winning Battle for the Soul of Canada 

-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier

for better for worse-Click to check out our newest marriage book For Better For Worse: discovering the keys to a lasting relationship on Amazon. You can even read the first two chapters for free to see if the book speaks to you.

 

-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. In Canada, Amazon.ca has the book available in paperback and ebook.

It is also posted on Amazon UK (paperback and ebook ), Amazon France (paperback and ebook), and Amazon Germany (paperback and ebook).

Restoring Health is also available online on Barnes and Noble in both paperback and Nook/ebook form.  Nook gives a sample of the book to read online.

Indigo also offers the paperback and the Kobo ebook version.  You can also obtain it through ITunes as an IBook.

To receive a signed copy within North America, just send a $20 cheque (USD/CAN) to ED HIRD, 102-15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC, Canada V4A 0A5.

– In order to obtain a signed copy of the prequel book Battle for the Soul of Canada, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #102-15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC, Canada V4A 0A5. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD.  This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $4.99 CDN/USD.

-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca 


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The Joy of Grumbling

Michelangelo Picture 2By the Rev. Dr. Ed Hird

When Michelangelo had completed his famous piece of sculpture on King David, the Gonfaloniere Soderini of Florence who had ordered it came to inspect his purchase. Among his many complaints and criticisms of the sculpture, he grumbled the most about the nose. He said, “It’s too big. It doesn’t fit the statue. David didn’t have such a big nose.”

 

So he insisted that Michelangelo do a nose job on the statue and reduce its size. Michelangelo knew that he had no choice, but hated to deface his masterpiece. So he mounted the scaffold of the 12 foot high figure, and giving a few noisy but harmless blows with his hammer on the stone, he let fall a handful of marble dust which he had scraped up from the floor below. “Wonderful”, said his critic. “You have given it life indeed”. His critic was so excited about the improvement that Michelangelo received a major financial bonus for the improvement.

 

Grumbling can become so compulsive that we actually begin to get a certain “joy” from it. But grumbling always ends up destroying the very things we most want out of life. That is why the Bible says “Don’t grumble against each other, or you will be judged.” What is grumbling anyways? The Concise Oxford Dictionary tells us that to grumble is to growl faintly, to murmur, to complain. In essence, a grumble is a dull inarticulate sound.

 

Grumbling is a very hard addiction to break. is fed by two very powerful sub addictions: self pity and self righteousness. We grumble because we are convinced that we are being hard done by and that it just isn’t fair. The truth is that all of us struggle with grumbling. I know in my own life that I can slip into it far too easily. I just caught myself a while ago slipping into self pity and self righteousness, and I started to laugh at myself, because I realized that all grumbling is self deception. I said to myself “Oh no, the day is ruined.” But then I forced myself to apologize and say that I was sorry for my grumbling, and I ended up having a good day.”

 

I am convinced that the cure for grumbling is humbling … humbling ourselves before our spouse, our children, our friends, our neighbours… confessing our bad attitude and asking their forgiveness. Far too many divorces can be traced to the addiction of grumbling. Paul J. Getty, one of the wealthiest billionaires in the world, was reported in the press to have said “I’d give all my wealth for just one happy marriage.” Grumbling is not a harmless pastime. It is a deadly cancer that kills far more people than all other diseases combined. To grumble about another person is to both judge and condemn them. There is only one person in the world who has it together enough to judge others fairly and that is Jesus. That is why Jesus said “Judge not, lest you be judged.” Only Jesus fully knows how to judge without being judgmental, how to judge us without condemning us.

 

My prayer for each reader is that any tendency to grumbling or judgmentalism in our lives will be replaced by a deepening love of neighbour.

 

The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin

-author of the award-winning book Battle for the Soul of Canada

-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier/North Shore News

for better for worse-Click to check out our newest marriage book For Better For Worse: discovering the keys to a lasting relationship on Amazon. You can even read the first two chapters for free to see if the book speaks to you.

 

-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. In Canada, Amazon.ca has the book available in paperback and ebook.

It is also posted on Amazon UK (paperback and ebook ), Amazon France (paperback and ebook), and Amazon Germany (paperback and ebook).

Restoring Health is also available online on Barnes and Noble in both paperback and Nook/ebook form.  Nook gives a sample of the book to read online.

Indigo also offers the paperback and the Kobo ebook version.  You can also obtain it through ITunes as an IBook.

To receive a signed copy within North America, just send a $20 cheque (USD/CAN) to ED HIRD, #102-15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC V4A 0A5, Canada.

– In order to obtain a signed copy of the prequel book Battle for the Soul of Canada, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #102-15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC V4A 0A5.

For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD.  This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $4.99 CDN/USD.

-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca 


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Restoring Community in the 21st Century

by the Rev. Dr. Ed Hird

 

Atlantic Christian Ashram

I’ll always remember big Glen and little Glen, Paul, Jimmy, Steven, and Brian. We all grew up in the Arbutus area in Vancouver in the early 60s. We played football together on our front lawns. We built tree forts together in the bush across the street. We even tried to “Dig to China” together around the side of our houses. Everyone in our neighbourhood knew each other (even the adults!). There was a warmth and community feeling that I took for granted until I moved to Montreal in 1965.

Suddenly I lived in a city where no one knew their neighbours, where French and English people rarely spoke to each other, where wealth and success swallowed up all the time people used to have for their neighbours. I enjoyed the excitement of Montreal and Expo’67, but I missed the intimacy and warmth of the local Arbutus neighbourhood.

 

While obtaining a degree in Social Work, I worked for the North Shore Neighbourhood House with “high profile pre-teens”. During that time, I became aware of many groups on the North Shore using the word Community.  There were Community Schools, Community Centres, Community Health Clinics, Community Cable Companies, Community Resource Boards, Community Recreation Programs, etc., etc. It always puzzled me as to why with so many community agencies, there was often so little sense of real community  at the neighbourhood level. Why had it become so hard to even know who your neighbours were, let alone “Love Your Neighbour as Yourself”?

 

DSCF1492In reading Lewis Drummond, part of the “Community” puzzle began to fit together. He said that for most of humanity’s history, people lived in small, rural close knit (even tribal) communities. They fished, hunted, worked, farmed, and played together. Communication and community came easily in such an intimate environment. But since the industrial and high tech revolution, over 90 percent moved to the burgeoning cities. In these massive urban areas, our neighbours are no longer our fellow workers or even necessarily our acquaintances. With the advent of television, radio and the Internet, the need for and the interaction with one’s community has been further reduced. Leisure time can now be spent inside the four walls of one’s own castle, the home. Humanity, as Gavin Reid puts it, has moved into the “Post Community” era.

 

Some have seen urbanization with the breakdown of community as a blessing. At last, they say, we can be alone and live our own lives without the gossip or interference of others. But in losing community, we lose a sense of belonging and security. Worst of all, when community collapses, so does genuine communication. For real communication is only possible in the context of a genuine community where trust and caring exist.

 

Each of us must play our part in this fragmented world to rebuild genuine community, to reach out to the lost and the lonely. Each of us can decide to live by the Golden Rule: to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Each us of us can choose to truly love our neighbour as ourselves.  The world can change, if we begin with ourselves. What are you willing to do this week to help restore community?

 

 

The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird

-author of the award-winning book Battle for the Soul of Canada

-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier/North Shore News

for better for worse-Click to check out our newest marriage book For Better For Worse: discovering the keys to a lasting relationship on Amazon. You can even read the first two chapters for free to see if the book speaks to you.

 

-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. In Canada, Amazon.ca has the book available in paperback and ebook.

It is also posted on Amazon UK (paperback and ebook ), Amazon France (paperback and ebook), and Amazon Germany (paperback and ebook).

Restoring Health is also available online on Barnes and Noble in both paperback and Nook/ebook form.  Nook gives a sample of the book to read online.

Indigo also offers the paperback and the Kobo ebook version.  You can also obtain it through ITunes as an IBook.

To receive a signed copy within North America, just send a $20 cheque (USD/CAN) to ED HIRD, #102-15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC V4A 0A5, Canada.

– In order to obtain a signed copy of the prequel book Battle for the Soul of Canada, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #102-15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC V4A 0A5.

For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD.  This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $4.99 CDN/USD.

-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca