By the Rev. Dr. Ed Hird 
My late father-in-law David was solid like a rock. I have been married to his daughter for 43 years. David joked that he has never quite forgiven me for taking his daughter away, as she was the lead soprano in his choir. To make up for this ‘theft’, I have paid him back by ‘giving’ him three grandchildren. The nicest thing about grandchildren, of course, is that you can fuss over them, and then send them back home!
Over the years, my father-in-law showed great wisdom in dealing with impossible situations. When others give up, he kept on moving faithfully forward. I experienced my father-in-law as someone who never stopped expecting the best from you. Many times over the years, my father-in-law opened doors for me to speak in situations that would otherwise have been closed. He was a true Barnabas, a Son of Encouragement.
When I have faced enormous obstacles relationally, financially or spiritually, David was always someone that I could sit down with and pour out my heart. I was blessed with ‘stereo’ wisdom from my father-in-law and my own father, both of whom lived just ten minutes from each other. We live in a culture that is often embarrassed by aging and gray hair, but the Good Book says that ‘Gray hair is a crown of splendor’ and a potential sign of wisdom that comes through often painful years of experience. My father-in-law’s wisdom taught me to be less afraid of aging and gray hair!
‘With humility comes wisdom’, writes King Solomon in the Book of Proverbs. My father-in-law was a very humble man, so much so that he wouldn’t recognize his own humility. The Good Book says ‘Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.’ There was gentleness to my father-in-law that has drawn many hurting, broken people over the years. People instinctively knew that David cares. My father-in-law was both a true shepherd and a true gentleman.
I remember when I announced to my father-in-law that I was going to marry his daughter. Because I said it with a smile, he thought that I was joking! But after I got down on my knees, he got the point. I am one of a rare breed of bridegrooms whose father-in-law actually performed the marriage ceremony. My father-in-law was one of three brothers who became ordained as clergy. So you can imagine all the speeches that we had at our wedding reception. My wedding reception, by the way, was so long that we actually had to have an intermission!
One of the most refreshing things about my late father-in-law is that he didn’t take himself too seriously. Being a wonderful storyteller, he always had a great joke that broke the ice, and opened people up to deeper spiritual truth. With a twinkle in his eye, David would tell a hilarious story of some mishap that happened as children back on the family farm in Saskatchewan.
It was there in Saskatchewan that he met my future mother-in-law. If there was ever a marriage made in heaven, their marriage was one of them. Filled with much love and perseverance, their marriage inspired many other struggling couples to go the second mile and keep on forgiving. Everything about David and Vera breathed the message of hope and steadfast endurance in the face of great obstacles. Their faith in our Lord Jesus Christ was the open secret of their great love for each other, and for a hurting world. Though it has been 20 years now since Vera passed on, she is still fondly remembered.*
My father-in-law was deeply impacted by the Christian Ashram Retreat movement. I admire people who want to keep growing and learning even into their retirement years. David always looked for ways to be more loving, more caring, more forgiving, more Christ-like. The International United Christian Ashram movement is a big part of what made my father-in-law tick, of what kept him vital and joyful year after year. If David had one wish for those of you reading this article, I am sure that it would be the desire that you might experience a transformed life through attending a Christian Ashram retreat. My own life has been radically transformed through many years of spending each summer at a Christ-centered BC Christian Ashram retreat with my father-in-law and family.
* David was blessed to be given a dear second wife Una by the Lord who faithfully participated in the Christian Ashram family.
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin
-previously published in the North Shore News
-award-winning author of the book Battle for the Soul of Canada
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
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In Canada, Amazon.ca has the book available in paperback and ebook. It is also posted on Amazon UK (paperback and ebook), Amazon France (paperback and ebook), and Amazon Germany (paperback and ebook).
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Indigo also offers the paperback and the Kobo ebook version. You can also obtain it through ITunes as an IBook.
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recover my voice and get back on track. Deep within most of us is this inexpressible desire to please our fathers.
you will be able to talk to God.’ A week later, a local psychiatrist phoned me up and informed me that this patient had experienced a major breakthrough in his counseling as a result.
North Shore is the beautiful trails that are woven throughout our area. Recently I encountered a neighbour walking his dog. Out of the blue, I said, ‘What is a courageous father?’ He said, ‘Someone who holds down a job and cares for his children’. Simple words, but very true. In this age of compromise, in this pressure-cooker world, so many fathers are tempted to run away from it all. The stress just becomes too much.
I said to the man, ‘Does God ever remind you of your earthly father?’. ‘Funny you should say that’, he said. ‘ They are just the same. They never listen and they always blow up at me.’ I went on to say, ‘What about your own mother? Does she remind you of the Virgin Mary?’ His eyes brightened up, and he said to me, ‘You must know my parents. My mother is just like the Virgin Mary. She always listens to me’.
courage. The gift of a healthy father is the gift of being willing to lay down our lives, if necessary, for our families. In this age of compromise, I give thanks for my own father who has not been afraid to stand up for his family and his convictions.
One of the things I love the most about the North Shore is the beautiful trails that are woven throughout our area. While out walking in the trails, I asked a neighbour, ‘What is a courageous father?’ He said, ‘Someone who holds down a job and cares for his children’. Simple words, but very true.
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