Your wonderful book For Better, For Worse focuses on couples who yearn for the Better. It highlights the four key marriage tenets: rediscovering strengths, celebrating differences, valuing conflict, and balancing closeness and personal space. It flows as your practical thought-provoking experience and your out-standing research from your own ministry. The book is highly helpful and strengthens marriages There is good guidance along with a frame of positive rules for better living and better delight in marriages by studying this wonderful book. It is the one of the best books which shows all married people how to lead peaceful life I thank you both for your excellency and eminent writing from your pen, involving both your mind and heart
Thanks to your family for your superb work both for the current generation and generations to come. Your book is a mirror to set right their lives in a right path and live in a jovial way
In Christ,
Joseph Stanley
East Godavarai, India
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a personally signed copy of any of our books within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
Click to view photos from a Rwandan wedding that we were privileged to attend with Archbishop Kolini and his wife Freida.
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link. To receive a personally signed copy of any of our books within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
The more we nonjudgmentally observe, the less we cut off in our marriage. Most of us, as Jesus taught, have a log in our eye that blinds us from seeing the obvious. Jesus challenged us to remove the log from our own eye before we try to take the splinter out of another person’s eye. Such blindness is rooted in the difficulty of seeing things that do not fit one’s theoretical frame of reference. We underestimate how difficult it can be to perceive things that we do not want to see. One has to become an observer before it is possible to see. The less we see, the more we disconnect from each other. The more we see, the greater our neutrality. Conversely the greater the neutrality, the more we see in our marriage.
Ed and Janice lacked this neutrality for many years. Janice liked to spend money, buying pretty things and clothes. Ed didn’t want to spend money, wanting only to save it. Janice would get upset if Ed tried to slow down her spending. The things were on sale, just for that week. When the bills came in, there would be tension over how to juggle the finances. In more recent years, we have developed more neutrality around our spending and saving habits and are more able to objectively discuss finances without blaming or cutting off.
The ideal neutrality, said Daniel Papero, is like quietly watching the ripples of a mountain pond. Gilbert and Bowen likened such neutral observing to putting on a lab coat like a scientist or watching from a space craft. Bowen compared this to moving from a playing field to the top of a stadium to watch a football game. This observational discipline is like making use of a personal trainer at a gym. Many people turn up at the gym in January, hoping for the post-Christmas quick fix. By February, discouragement and dropout set in for many. It is too easy to lose heart and give up. Learning to become an observational scientist in one’s marriage is just as challenging. It takes time to retrain and develop the power of observation. This is, in fact, a lifetime project till death do us part. Through developing our observational biceps, we still have feelings but they don’t have us. They don’t control our life decisions or define our core self. This is not about being a 21st-century unfeeling Dr. Spock of Star Trek fame. As Richardson commented,
Being differentiated does not mean becoming unfeeling. Well-differentiated people never lose touch with their feelings, and they can experience and express feelings when necessary. They recognize feelings as one source of information about what is going on in their lives. They can also be passionate in their feelings if they choose. The critical element in a well-differentiated person is this choice. They can decide whether or not to act on feelings.
It was encouraging to see how many of the Strengthening Marriage Workshop participants embraced this new way of seeing. Thinking like a scientist, which reduces observational blindness, holds great promise for bridging marital cutoff. Reducing emotional cutoff through increasing one’s objectivity is very demanding. Are we willing to own our part? Owning our part is very challenging because we are often so remarkably blind and defensive. How willing are you to accept influence from your spouse? As Jeremiah 17:9 painfully reminds us, our hearts are deceitful above all things. Reducing cutoff requires a radically objective assessment of one’s self, not just one’s spouse. In the Strengthening Marriage Workshop, we taught several times over the four weeks on the concept of objectivity:
“Objectivity means for each of us in our marriage to become almost like a scientist or a space astronaut observing ourselves and our own marriage. We need that little bit of detachment, but that is hard because we tend to become swallowed in the intensity of our emotions. If we can become objective, it does something remarkable…. What if we didn’t blame ourselves either? What if we became an observer, a scientist, someone who is looking for understanding rather than blaming? … What if we said: “I’m going to watch this. I can feel my blaming coming on. I am going to slow down, have a coffee and watch what is happening”? … You have to, at some point, be neutral about the very marriage that you are committed to, not that you cease to be committed but that you have a degree of detachment. You begin to watch yourself and your marriage like a scientist.”
How objective is your thinking about your marriage?
Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a personally signed copy of any of our books within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
Every January we get to grapple with the implications of the second half of that familiar Christmas Greeting: “…and a Happy New Year!” Alexander Pope said in 1733: “Hope springs eternal in the human breast.” Pope suffered from childhood tuberculosis that left him hunched over, reaching a height of only 4 feet 6 inches. But he never let this steal his hopefulness and his joyfulness.
“Happy” comes from the old Norse word “Happ”, which means chance, luck, or lot. Happiness is just that which happens to you by chance occurrence. Many people are desperately trying to be happy. But happiness, by definition, is haphazard, arbitrary, and temporary. As a teenager, I tried to be happy, and to make my personal happiness the purpose of my life. What I discovered is that chasing after the elusive goal of happiness is guaranteed to make one unhappier than ever.
Rather than aiming for temporary happiness, I have learned to value the more lasting quality of joy. Joy has such depth that I have found that I can be joyful when unpleasant unhappy things happen haphazardly to me. Simon Peter taught that it is possible to be joyful with an unspeakable joy. Joy is described in the Concise Oxford Dictionary as a “vivid emotion of pleasure, gladness, thing that causes delight”. What causes gladness and delight in your life? The birth of a baby? Graduating from High School or University? Attending your son or daughter’s wedding?
I have found that joy is a choice. I can choose to rejoice always, even in the midst of great suffering and setbacks. James, Jesus’ brother, said that we should count it all joy when we face challenges. It is not easy to be joyful in all circumstances. The good book teaches that joy is a fruit of God’s Holy Spirit. When the Christmas angels turned up at the Bethlehem manger, they proclaimed glad tidings of great joy for all people. Jesus, right before his crucifixion, said that he wanted His joy to be inside of us, and our joy to be full. In other words, he wants us to be inwardly joyful: full of joy, overflowing with joy. Without the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit, this is impossible. Joy needs to be like an artesian well springing up from within. It can’t be artificially produced or induced.
All of us need more joy in our lives. Joy is the secret of a genuinely happy New Year. Joy keeps the stresses and pressures of life from burying us before we are dead. Thirty-nine years ago in January 1972, at age 17, I encountered a joy that changed me from the inside out. This joy was so joyful that it made me full of joy! Without trying, I developed a smile that wouldn’t go away. I really became a different person, so much so that my friends at High School noticed the difference. Some even wanted in on the action.
My parents initially were a bit worried. Having a joyful, peaceful teenager in their family took a little getting used to. But eventually they too saw a permanent change in their son that made them joyful too. There is something about an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ that connects us deeply to the gift of joy. No wonder that C.S. Lewis, the atheist turned believer, entitled his autobiography “Surprised by Joy”. My New Year’s prayer for those reading this article is that joy may spill into all of our lives in surprising and life-changing ways.
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin
-previously published in the North Shore News/Deep Cove Crier
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
Who can figure out this mysterious, intangible reality called ‘love’? It won’t show up under a microscope, an ultrasound, or a CT Scan. But most of us know in our heart of hearts that love is real and love matters deeply. Without love, something dies inside. With love, something miraculously comes alive.
In the mid-1970’s, my wife and I were part of a soft rock band called ‘Morning Star’ which played for five years throughout BC. We were also part of a concert promotion group entitled ‘LivingStone Productions’. One of our favorite rock musicians that we brought in to the Queen E Theatre was the late Larry Norman, the father of GodRock. One of his songs ‘I Love You, I Love You, I Love You’ impacted us so deeply that my sister and future brother-in-law sang it to each other at our wedding.
“We can be together now and forever I love you, I love you Hey, can you hear me, I’ve got to have you near me I love you, I love you I was lonely till you came along Now you’ve got me singing your love song I love you, I love you, I love you….”
It is not enough to sing a love song once at one’s wedding. We need to re-sing it every day in a thousand ways. After 41 years of marriage, I have learnt that love needs to ‘have legs’. Love needs to be practical. Love is taking out the garbage. Love is driving the kids to school . Love is doing the dishes when you are feeling exhausted.
The Good Book says that it is not good for man to be alone. I too can sing ‘I’ve got to have you near me…I was lonely till you came along’. A loving marriage is a gift beyond description, a gift of intimacy, caring, and hope. God knew what he was doing when he invented the miracle of marriage.
“Life is a mystery, love is a dancer I love you, I love you I had a question, you brought the answer I love you I love you Oh but I need you so I could never let you go I love you, I love you, I love you…”
No one can figure out love. It just is, or it just isn’t. Love brings a contentment that makes no sense. Love is stronger than death. Thirty-three years later I realize more than ever how deeply I need my wife, how much she calls forth the best in me and our children. My wife, to put it frankly, is irreplaceable.
“I was lonely once but then you came along And you gave me love so I wrote down this song I wanna spend my life with you like the angels on high You’re the morning star, you’re the Son in my sky. I love you, I love you, I love you…”
All of Larry Norman’s music pointed to Love beyond love, Life beyond life, Hope beyond hope. My wife and I have discovered again and again that the heart of our marriage is Love, the love of God found in Jesus Christ. May each of us discover the heart of love, the morning star, the Son in the sky.
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin
-previously published in the North Shore News/Deep Cove Crier
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
My late father-in-law David was solid like a rock. I have been married to his daughter for 43 years. David joked that he has never quite forgiven me for taking his daughter away, as she was the lead soprano in his choir. To make up for this ‘theft’, I have paid him back by ‘giving’ him three grandchildren. The nicest thing about grandchildren, of course, is that you can fuss over them, and then send them back home!
Over the years, my father-in-law showed great wisdom in dealing with impossible situations. When others give up, he kept on moving faithfully forward. I experienced my father-in-law as someone who never stopped expecting the best from you. Many times over the years, my father-in-law opened doors for me to speak in situations that would otherwise have been closed. He was a true Barnabas, a Son of Encouragement.
When I have faced enormous obstacles relationally, financially or spiritually, David was always someone that I could sit down with and pour out my heart. I was blessed with ‘stereo’ wisdom from my father-in-law and my own father, both of whom lived just ten minutes from each other. We live in a culture that is often embarrassed by aging and gray hair, but the Good Book says that ‘Gray hair is a crown of splendor’ and a potential sign of wisdom that comes through often painful years of experience. My father-in-law’s wisdom taught me to be less afraid of aging and gray hair!
‘With humility comes wisdom’, writes King Solomon in the Book of Proverbs. My father-in-law was a very humble man, so much so that he wouldn’t recognize his own humility. The Good Book says ‘Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.’ There was gentleness to my father-in-law that has drawn many hurting, broken people over the years. People instinctively knew that David cares. My father-in-law was both a true shepherd and a true gentleman.
I remember when I announced to my father-in-law that I was going to marry his daughter. Because I said it with a smile, he thought that I was joking! But after I got down on my knees, he got the point. I am one of a rare breed of bridegrooms whose father-in-law actually performed the marriage ceremony. My father-in-law was one of three brothers who became ordained as clergy. So you can imagine all the speeches that we had at our wedding reception. My wedding reception, by the way, was so long that we actually had to have an intermission!
One of the most refreshing things about my late father-in-law is that he didn’t take himself too seriously. Being a wonderful storyteller, he always had a great joke that broke the ice, and opened people up to deeper spiritual truth. With a twinkle in his eye, David would tell a hilarious story of some mishap that happened as children back on the family farm in Saskatchewan.
It was there in Saskatchewan that he met my future mother-in-law. If there was ever a marriage made in heaven, their marriage was one of them. Filled with much love and perseverance, their marriage inspired many other struggling couples to go the second mile and keep on forgiving. Everything about David and Vera breathed the message of hope and steadfast endurance in the face of great obstacles. Their faith in our Lord Jesus Christ was the open secret of their great love for each other, and for a hurting world. Though it has been 20 years now since Vera passed on, she is still fondly remembered.*
My father-in-law was deeply impacted by the Christian Ashram Retreat movement. I admire people who want to keep growing and learning even into their retirement years. David always looked for ways to be more loving, more caring, more forgiving, more Christ-like. The International United Christian Ashram movement is a big part of what made my father-in-law tick, of what kept him vital and joyful year after year. If David had one wish for those of you reading this article, I am sure that it would be the desire that you might experience a transformed life through attending a Christian Ashram retreat. My own life has been radically transformed through many years of spending each summer at a Christ-centered BC Christian Ashram retreat with my father-in-law and family.
* David was blessed to be given a dear second wife Una by the Lord who faithfully participated in the Christian Ashram family.
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin
-previously published in the North Shore News
-award-winning author of the book Battle for the Soul of Canada
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a signed copy within North America, just send a $20 cheque (USD/CAN) to ED HIRD, 102 – 15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC, V4A 0A5, Canada.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
Many of our books include references to and stories about E. Stanley Jones. To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
To receive a personally signed copy of any of our books within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
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