Why is it sometimes so hard for us to forgive others? Forgiveness is often the virtue we all believe in until we have to do it. Sometimes we forgive readily. Other times it is very hard and seems humanly impossible. Eric Wright the author of Revolutionary Forgiveness says it’s as if there is an ‘unforgiveness’ gene spliced into our DNA.
Without forgiveness, says Wright, our relationships become brittle and tattered — or non-existent. Forgiveness stifles the shrill voice of conflict, heals hurts and renews broken relationships. What might happen to our lives if we could learn to offer forgiveness, receive forgiveness and celebrate forgiveness? In Garcia Márquez’s book, Love in the Time of Cholera, a marriage collapses over the failure of the wife to replace soap in the bathroom. The husband exaggerated the problem. The wife refused to admit that she forgot. Since neither would ask forgiveness, they slept in separate rooms for seven months and ate in silence.
What would happen to society, says Wright, if everyone could begin each day with a slate wiped free of grievances, bitterness, anger, failure and sin? Unforgiveness reveals anger and bitterness in our lives. We easily become convinced that our anger is righteous and justified. Our disappointed expectations easily become hardened judgments of others. The Good Book tells us that our hearts are deceitful and beyond cure. It is so easy to point the finger at other people and be unwilling to deal with our own baggage.
In the world’s most famous prayer, we say “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” In effect we are saying to God “don’t forgive me if I refuse to forgive others.” Very few of us would consciously pray ‘Don’t forgive me’. We all want to be forgiven. We all want peace of mind. We all want to have the good night’s sleep that comes from a clear conscience. Jesus on the cross prayed ‘Father forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing.’ People who hurt us deeply often have no idea of their painful impact on our lives and families.
When we forgive, we set the prisoner free. Sometimes that prisoner is ourselves. The Great Physician says that unforgiveness emotionally and spiritually keeps us in a torture chamber. Our unwillingness to forgive are like chains on our hands, heart and feet. Life is too short to hang onto bitterness. It is too short to wait for others to repent and say that they are sorry. Often they never will. Don’t wait for them to apologize. Give your bitterness to the Lord. Give your anger and resentment to God. Forgiveness will set you free. My prayer for those who reading this article is that each of us will have the courage to give our disappointments and bitterness to the Creator of the universe.
p.s. You can order Eric Wright’s Revolutionary Forgiveness book online at Amazon.
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin
-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier/North Shore News
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a personally signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
My family and I watched ‘Tagged’, a Canadian movie on CTV about Jonathan Wamback, a 16 year old boy who was mercilessly bullied, beaten and left for dead. Repeatedly kicked in the head with steel-toe boots, Jonathan’s skull was shattered, and he almost died three times on the way to surgery. After spending his 16th summer in a coma, he miraculously gradually recovered. When Jonathan was well enough, he had this overwhelming desire to go back to the very high school where he had been so badly bullied and rejected. This gripping movie ends with Jonathan courageously walking back into school like a wounded bird that would not go away. Nothing could separate Jonathan from his school.
Watching the re-enactment of Jonathan being kicked in the head brought back vivid memories of myself being kicked in the head at the same age while surrounded by a frenzied gang. Fortunately for me, I was able to jump on my 10-speed Pugeot and escape before it was too late. But my ears ached and rang for days after that. Ashamed, separated, and slimed by that bullying, I never told my parents until years later.
Years later I now realize that I had nothing to be ashamed of, and in fact could just as easily have ended up in hospital like Jonathan Wamback. Bullying kills. Bullying shames. Bullying steals life and joy from others.
I thank God for Jonathan Wamback who would not let bullies separate him from his school and his friends. Bullying can so easily fill us with fear and bitterness. It can so easily separate us from the most important things in our life.
Until I could forgive my attacker, I was actually in bondage to him spiritually and emotionally. Once I could begin to forgive him, I began to be free. I learnt that unforgiveness and bitterness is like a wall that separates people from our life. My desire for revenge created a spiritual apartheid that left me cut off and shut down. When I met Jesus Christ in Grade 12, I experienced such forgiveness and joy that my family initially worried about me. Later they came to see that this new inner peace was more than one more passing fad. The wall of emotional apartheid, created by bullying, was gone.
This amazing inner peace has taught me that nothing can separate me from those I love. Nothing can separate me from those who care for me. Nothing can separate me from the things that really matter in life. Nothing can separate me from my faith and deepest values. I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38). No bully, no bitterness, no bigotry can rob me of love, can rob me of faith, can rob me of forgiveness in Jesus Christ.
My prayer for those reading this article is that nothing will separate us from the amazing love of God found in Jesus Christ.
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin
-previously published in the North Shore News/Deep Cove Crier
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Edhird's Blog 