Edhird's Blog

Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit

Forgiveness is a Revolutionary Act

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By the Rev. Dr. Ed Hird

Cross

 

“Now, Susie,” said her placating mother “your brother Jimmy says he’s sorry that he broke our doll, so I hope you’ll forgive him.” “All right,” said Susie reluctantly, “but I’d feel more like forgiving him, mother, if I could swat him first!” Forgiveness is something that we all value in out families, and work hard to teach our children. But sometimes the message of forgiveness seems to land on deaf ears. Why is it often so hard for our children to forgive each other? Why is it often so hard for spouses to truly forgive each other?

Genuine forgiveness, rather than mere excusing someone, is the hardest action in the whole world (especially when we’ve been hurt deeply). We are all fairly good at excusing minor annoyances by saying “no problem” or “that’s okay”. But when we are hurt unfairly and deeply by someone we love, forgiveness often seems totally impossible. Many divorces occur through a long series of minor and major hurts that never had forgiveness applied to each hurt. If we don’t forgive that initial smaller hurt, then each subsequent hurt accumulates until a root of bitterness grows up in our hearts. At that point, our heart grows cold and numb, and we often doubt whether we ever really loved our spouses. But the real issue is not lack of love. It is lack of forgiveness.

Why is it so hard to forgive? Often it feels so unfair to forgive. After all, they’ve hurt us deeply, perhaps again and again. Maybe they seem to be getting away with it. Maybe they seem to have rebuilt their life while you are still reeling. Perhaps you feel that to forgive them would be letting them get away with it. To be honest we often don’t want to forgive. We want to get even. We may secretly even want revenge. Even “nice people”, when deeply hurt, 1savior+3nailsfind them-selves wanting “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.”

Forgiveness is a Revolutionary act. It changes everything.  The world’s most famous human being said in the world’s most famous prayer “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” He said that instead of getting an “eye for an eye we are to love our enemies and pray for those who hurt us (Matthew 5:43). His advice, of course, is humanly impossible. How can we bless the very people we want to curse?

Jesus once said “with man this is impossible, but not with God. All things are possible with God.” Alcoholics Anonymous states that change can only occur when we admit our powerlessness over our addictions. Many of us are weak so cry out to the Father and confess how bad you are at forgiving.  Ask Him to make you willing to be willing  to forgive. Confess your addiction to bitterness and your need for a Higher Power to help you forgive. And remember this: the only person really hurt by your lack of forgiveness is you.

 

The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, Rector

BSW, MDiv, DMin

St. Simon’s Church North Vancouver

Anglican Mission in Canada

-author of the award-winning book Battle for the Soul of Canada

-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier

-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. In Canada, Amazon.ca has the book available in paperback and ebook.

It is also posted on Amazon UK (paperback and ebook ), Amazon France (paperback and ebook), and Amazon Germany (paperback and ebook).

Restoring Health is also available online on Barnes and Noble in both paperback and Nook/ebook form.  Nook gives a sample of the book to read online.

Indigo also offers the paperback and the Kobo ebook version.  You can also obtain it through ITunes as an IBook.

To receive a signed copy within North America, just send a $20 cheque (USD/CAN) to ED HIRD, 1008- 555 West 28th Street, North Vancouver, BC, V7N 2J7, Canada.

– In order to obtain a signed copy of the prequel book Battle for the Soul of Canada, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #1008-555 West 28th Street, North Vancouver, BC V7N 2J7. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD.  This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $9.99 CDN/USD.

-Click to download a complimentary PDF copy of the Battle for the Soul study guide :  Seeking God’s Solution for a Spirit-Filled Canada

You can also download the complimentary Leader’s Guide PDF: Battle for the Soul Leaders Guide

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Author: edhird

I am the Rector of St. Simon's Church North Vancouver, B.C., having served there since 1987. Ordained in 1980, I have also served at St. Philip's Vancouver and St. Matthew's Abbotsford. My wife Janice and I have three sons James, Mark, and Andrew. I was the Past President and Chaplain for Alpha Canada. While serving as the National Chair for Anglican Renewal Ministries of Canada, I was one of three co-signers of the Montreal Declaration of Anglican Essentials http://www3.telus.net/st_simons/arm05.htm For the past 26 years, I have been privileged to write over 400 articles as a columnist on spiritual issues for local North Vancouver newspapers. In the last number of years, I have had the opportunity to lead conferences and retreats in Honduras, Rwanda, Washington State, BC, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Newfoundland, and Toronto. My new sequel Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit, with a foreword by Dr JI Packer, is online with Amazon.com in both paperback http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/097820221X/ref=redir_mdp_mobile and ebook form http://tiny.cc/tanhmx . In Canada, Amazon.ca has it available in paperback http://tiny.cc/dknhmx and ebook http://tiny.cc/wmhmmx . It is also posted on Amazon UK (paperback and ebook ), Amazon France (paperback and ebook), and Amazon Germany (paperback and ebook). Restoring Health is also available online on Barnes and Noble in both paperback and Nook/ebook form. Nook gives a sample of the book to read online: http://tiny.cc/vj3bmx . Indigo also offers the Kobo ebook version: http://tiny.cc/kreonx . You can also obtain it through ITunes as an IBook: http://tiny.cc/1ukiox The book 'Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit' focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus' healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how North Americans can embrace a holistically healthy life. In order to obtain a copy of the prequel book 'Battle for the Soul of Canada', please send a $18.50 cheque to 'Ed Hird', #1008-555 West 28th Street, North Vancouver, BC V7N 2J7. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD. For more info, please click on www3.telus.net/st_simons/nsnews030.html

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