It takes courage to say ‘No’. It takes courage to stand up against abuse. Over the years, I have met many people in abusive situations who have paid a great price to eventually extricate themselves from the vicious cycle of manipulation and recrimination.
Sexual and physical abuse, in particular, scars the victim deeply. Often the victims falsely blame themselves. Recovery from abuse involves breaking the conspiracy of silence and deception perpetrated by abusers. As they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, we are as sick as our secrets. Only the truth, however painful, can really set us free. Secrecy keeps us chained to our abusers.
Part of the cycle of abuse is that abusers are very skilled at blaming the victim. Many abuse victims internalize these false accusations and begin to blame themselves. Sexual abuse victims often carry a false sense of guilt and shame. Breaking false shame off victims can be very liberating. Sometimes scripture can help release people from such self-rejection: ‘You are already clean because of my word spoken to you’ (John 15:3) and ‘Do not call unclean that which God has made clean’ (Acts 10:15). All of us need to experience the cleansing stream of God’s Holy Spirit. All of us need to be washed with the water of the Word, removing our stains and blemishes (Ephesians 5:27). All of us need catharsis in our daily lives.
Abusers exercise ongoing control over their victims through fear and guilt. The heart of all addiction is the cycle of fear and guilt. Breaking the cycle of manipulation will release massive breakthrough in a person’s life. As the Good Book puts it, perfect love casts out all fear. Breaking the power of fear is critical to putting the abuse victim on a stable footing. Abusers are always destabilizing the victim’s environment, causing them to ‘walk on eggshells’. Abusers will often use ‘divide and conquer’ techniques that cuts the victim off from their natural support network.
God’s truth through Scripture can be most helpful here. It is not by accident that the phrase ‘Do not fear’ is used over 365 times in the Bible, at least once for every day of the year. As Timothy was once reminded, God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7) . God’s gift of ‘a sound mind’ is key to removing ‘stinking thinking’ and giving us instead peace that passes all understanding. God hasn’t given us a spirit that makes us a slave again to fear but rather has given us the Spirit of adoption (Romans 8:15). The key to breaking fear is realizing that in Jesus, we are adopted, we are chosen, we are accepted in the beloved. Nothing can cast us away from his loving arms.
Abusers specialize in condemning their victims as bad and unworthy of acceptance. The Good Book in contrast says that there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Breaking the power of condemnation releases great joy into the lives of abuse victims. No longer do they need to falsely accuse themselves and beat themselves up. Instead they learn to accept themselves in Christ’s love. When the manipulative power of fear and condemnation is broken, victims can become victors in remarkable unexpected ways. Creativity becomes released. Healthy boundaries become re-established. Abusers lose their power to control and entrap others. Victims stop enabling the very behaviours that keep them enslaved.
It all starts when people stop rewarding abusers and start blowing the whistle on them, when people say no to manipulation, say no to fear and guilt, say no to the ways of death and destruction. It takes courage to reach out to the support networks around you, whether to your teacher, doctor, social worker, counsellor or pastor, but it is well worth it. It is not your fault. You deserve better. Say no to abuse. Say yes to life. You are worth it. You are loved.
Two resources that I would recommend in your recovery from abuse are Dr. James Dobson’s book ‘Love Must Be Tough’ and Dr. Townsend & McCloud’s best-selling ‘Boundaries’ book. My prayer for each person reading this article is that we and our families will be given the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference, in Jesus’ name.
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin
-previously published in the North Shore News/Deep Cove Crier
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
Many people around us have given up on a search for truth. It just seems too costly, too frustrating, too ethereal. Many fear that the truth, if we can ever find it, will trap us with rules and regulations, turning us into slaves. Many years ago, the world’s most famous human being said: ‘You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.’ A radical claim indeed.
The Roman governor Pontius Pilate replied to this claim by cynically saying: ‘What is truth?’ He was probably so used as a politician to lying and being lied to, that truth had become a meaningless commodity. All of us crave for politicians that will tell us the truth and stop lying to us. It is so easy to dismiss such yearnings as naïve fantasies. Yet if no one can be trusted in our society, then the foundations of our democratic culture are indeed fragile.
True democracy is based on the gift of freedom, and the gift of freedom comes from the knowledge of truth. “You shall know the truth” means that truth is attainable, truth is knowledge, truth matters. “The truth shall set you free” means that truth is not abstract and irrelevant, but powerful and liberating. Truth changes everything. Lies kill everything.
The ‘Big Book’ in Alcoholics Anonymous says that anyone can get well if they are willing to be totally honest and truthful with themselves, God, and others. I deeply admire the radical honesty and vulnerability of AA folk. They have a lot to teach many people in church. One of my relatives, who is a professional counsellor, has a poster at his office that says: ‘The truth will set you free but first it will make you miserable’. The truth really does hurt, but when the truth is spoken in love rather than in judgement, there is amazing healing that can take place.
Jesus said; ‘I am the Way and the Truth and the Life’. He claimed to embody the essence of truth and meaning in his very person. To Pontius Pilate, he provocatively said: ‘Everyone on the side of truth listens to me’. Many people want to patronize Jesus and say nice things about him. But how many of us really want to listen deeply to him and let his words impact the core of our personalities?
The problem with the truth is that it is most often deeply inconvenient, morally inconvenient, socially inconvenient, financially inconvenient, politically inconvenient. I remember how Mark Twain once said that it is not the parts of the Bible which he doesn’t understand that trouble him, but rather the parts that he does understand. The truth will set us free, if we are willing to pay the price. But the cost can be very high indeed. The gift of democracy has been won again and again because many of our ancestors laid down their lives so that we might be free.
All dictators hate the truth. Mussolini did, Hitler did, and Stalin did. But the truly great leaders love truth, because they know that only the truth sets people free. Only the truth brings growth. Only the truth brings life, abundant and overflowing. As Canadians, we need to rediscover our forebears’ passionate commitment to truth and freedom. Democracy cannot survive without it. Families cannot survive without it.
Our society desperately needs a fresh infusion of the Spirit of Truth to stir up our consciences, soften our hearts, and enlighten our minds. As the Good Book puts it, our hearts are deceitful above all things and beyond cure. We have an amazing ability to fool ourselves and hurt ourselves, yet the Spirit of Truth promises to lead us into all truth. My prayer for those reading this article is that Jesus the Truth may give to each of us a renewed hunger for truth, truth lived, truth felt, truth embraced. May each of us know the truth in a deep intimate way, and may the truth radically set each of us free. May each of us be able to say like Martin Luther King: ‘Free at last, free at last, Thank God Almighty, we are free at last.’
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin
-previously published in the North Shore News/Deep Cove Crier
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
With millions set free from the ravages of uncontrollable drinking, who among us cannot be thankful for the gift of Alcoholics Anonymous? Many of us have friends, family, and co-workers who are alive and well today because of the miracle of the 12 Steps. Over the years, I have had the privilege of doing a number of ‘5th Steps’ with people in recovery. I have always come away from those experiences with a deepened sense of gratitude for the amazing gift of life.
One of the perhaps unexpected spin-offs of AA has been the dozens of recovery groups who apply the 12 Steps to all kinds of addictions and challenges, including overeating, narcotics, sexual brokenness, emotional dysfunctions, and gambling dependencies. One of the fastest-growing spin-offs is the ACOA movement for Adult Children of Alcoholics. There is even a specifically Christ-centered expression based on the beatitudes called ‘Celebrate Recovery’ that over 400,000 have already participated in.
Where did these amazing 12 Steps come from, in the first place? They were written by Bill W who had been mentored towards a life-changing faith by the Rev. Samuel Shoemaker. Dr. Sam, as he was known affectionately in AA circles, had a profound impact on the spiritual awakening of Bill W.
As Bill W tells it in ‘AA Comes of Age’, he went with his friend Ebby to Dr. Sam’s Calvary Church Mission. “There were some hymns and prayers. Then Tex, the leader, exhorted us. Only Jesus could save, he said. Somehow this statement did not jar me. Certain men got up and gave testimonials. Numb as I was, I felt interest and excitement rising. Then came the call. Some men were starting forward to the rail. Unaccountably impelled, I started too…I knelt among the shaking penitents. Maybe then and there, for the first time, I was penitent too. Something touched me. I guess it was more than that. I was hit. I felt a wild impulse to talk. Jumping to my feet, I began…Ebby, who at first had been embarrassed to death, told me with relief that I had done all right and had ‘given my life to God.’”
Bill W said that ‘It was from Sam that co-founder Dr. Bob and I in the beginning absorbed most of the principles that were afterwards embodied in the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, steps that express the heart of AA’s way of life.’ Bill W went on to say that Dr. Sam ‘gave us the concrete knowledge of about what we could do about (alcoholism)’ and that Dr. Sam ‘passed on the spiritual keys by which we were liberated’. Dr Sam, according to Bill W, ‘has been the connecting link’. Dr Sam even hosted the first AA meetings in his Calvary Episcopal (Anglican) Church Hall in New York.
Even though Dr. Sam was not an alcoholic, he had unusual insights into the human condition that drew alcoholics to him. Reminiscing about the first time that he met Dr. Sam, Bill W said: ‘I can still see him standing there before the lectern. His utter honesty, his tremendous forthrightness, struck me deep. I shall never forget it.’ According to Bill W, Dr. Sam ‘always called a spade a spade, and his blazing eagerness, earnestness, and crystal clarity drove home his message point by point…Here was a man quite as willing to talk about his own sins as about anybody else’s.’
The author of twenty-eight books, Dr. Sam was named as one of the ten greatest preachers in North America. He challenged all of the backward failings of humanity with fierceness, wit and relevancy. But Dr. Sam was never pessimistic or despairing.
Upon Dr. Sam’s death, the late Billy Graham said: ‘Words cannot express adequately the sense of personal loss I have felt at the home-coming of our beloved Sam. What a blessing it has been for me to talk and especially pray with this giant among men. I doubt that any man in our generation has made a greater impact for God on the Christian world than did Sam Shoemaker’.
Many 12 Step groups around the world pray both the Serenity Prayer and the Lord’s prayer. Both prayers are about ‘letting Go and letting God’. According to Bill W, breakthroughs happen when “…we can surrender and truly feel, ‘Thy will, not mine, be done’”. It is so hard to let go. Yet as we work the twelve steps, as we admit our powerlessness, as we turn our lives and will over to the care of God, as we seek only for the knowledge of God’s will, then miracles can happen.
As Dr. Sam said to the 20th Anniversary AA Convention, “Prayer is not trying to get God to change His will. It is trying to find out what His will is, to align ourselves or realign ourselves with His purpose for the world and for us. When we let willfulness cool out of us, God can get His will across to us as far as we need to see ahead of us. Dante said, ‘In His will is our peace’.”
Dr. Sam concluded his address to the 20th Anniversary AA Convention by saying: “I thank God that the church has so widely associated itself with AA, because I think AA people need the church for personal stabilization and growth, but also because I think that the church needs AA as a continuous spur to greater aliveness and expectation and power.” “Perhaps the time has come”, said Dr. Sam, “for the church to be reawakened and revitalized by the insights and practices found in AA.”
My prayer for those reading this article is that as with Bill W and Dr. Sam, God may make each of us a channel of his peace, his serenity and his sobriety.
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin
-previously published in the North Shore News/Deep Cove Crier
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
One of the most significant books that I have read is Pain: the Gift Nobody Wants by Dr. Paul Brand & Philip Yancey. Dr. Paul Brand was a world-famous leprosy surgeon who has spent most of his life caring for the forsaken lepers in India. He performed countless medical miracles, enabling people with leprosy (Hansen’s Disease) to live healthy and productive lives.
Dr. Brand’s book was endorsed by Dr. C. Everett Koop, a former Surgeon General of the United States, who bestowed on Dr. Brand the Surgeon General’s Medallion. Dr. Koop said that when he wonders who he would like to have been if he had not been born C. Everett Koop, the person who comes to mind most frequently is Paul Brand.
One of Dr. Brand’s greatest breakthroughs was the discovery that people with leprosy do not have ‘bad flesh’ that just rots away by itself. In fact, their flesh is just as healthy as yours or mine. They are usually not even contagious. What they lack is the ability to feel pain. As the blood flow is cut off from key parts of their body, their nerve endings die. With the death of their nerve endings comes the death of their ability to sense danger to their bodies. Leprous people live a virtually pain-free existence. Many of us would do anything to live a pain-free life. Yet in fact, the absence of pain is the greatest enemy of the leper. Again and again they wound and impale themselves. Yet they don’t feel a thing.
Dr. Brand spoke movingly about little Tanya, a four-year-old patient with dark, flashing eyes, curly hair, and an impish smile. She seemed fine as an infant. Then when she was a year and a half, her mother came into her room. She noticed her daughter finger-painting red pictures on the floor of her playpen. Suddenly her mother realized that her daughter had bitten off the tip of her finger and was drawing with her own blood. Because of her leprosy, Tanya felt no pain even when she damaged herself. I wonder how many of us as parents have ever thanked God that our own children can feel pain?
We in the west live in a culture that has a remarkable ability to shut down pain in our lives. People in North America consume over thirty thousand tons of aspirin a year. North Americans, who only represent 5 percent of the world’s population, consume over 50% of all manufactured drugs, one-third of which work on the central nervous system. We are the most advanced society in the world in terms of suppressing pain. Yet the more we try to shut down pain, the more pain strikes back.
When we refuse to listen to the pain in our bodies, we invariably begin to destroy ourselves. Just think of the number of famous football, basketball, and hockey stars who have damaged themselves for life by going out on the field, still injured, with the help of painkiller injections. If leprosy is the inability to feel pain, then alcohol and drug addiction, which deaden our pain, are forms of modern day leprosy. The greatest damage that pain-dead alcoholics and drug addicts do is the damage they do to their spouses and children. That is why I am so grateful for the gift of AA and related 12-Step groups. I wonder how many of us as parents have thanked God for the ability to feel our family’s pain?
As you are reading this article, you have probably blinked your eyes hundreds of times. Have you ever wondered why we blink? Dr. Brand discovered that leprous people go blind, because they don’t blink. Blinking functions like our car’s windshield wipers, washing away the impurities. It is pain that causes us to blink.
Try not blinking for the next 60 seconds, if you need proof of this. Because leprous people feel no pain, they don’t blink. The absence of pain actually makes them go blind. Dr. Brand solved their blinking problem surgically by attaching the chewing muscle to their eyelid. Every time they chew gum, their eyelid blinks. As we lovingly look at the faces of our children, how many of us as parents have ever thanked God for the ability to feel pain in our eyes?
One of the greatest mysteries that Dr. Brand faced was why leprous people kept losing their fingers and toes overnight. He knew that they didn’t just shrivel up and fall off. but no one could ever find what happened to the lost fingers and toes. Finally Dr. Brand decided to have people stay awake all night watching the leprosy patients sleep. To their surprise, they discovered that rats were coming in and nibbling off their fingers. Because the patients felt no pain, they never woke up and brushed away the rats.
To save their extremities, leprosy patients are now required to take cats with them, wherever they plan to sleep. I encourage you as you are reading this article to look down at your 10 fingers. How many of us as parents have ever thanked God for our hands that reach out to touch our children, and for the gift of pain that keeps them healthy?
Over 2,000 years ago, a Jewish peasant loved us so much that he allowed people to drive spikes into his hands. I thank God that Jesus chose to bear our pain that he might give us the gift of life.
-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier/North Shore News
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
“Now, Susie,” said her placating mother “your brother Jimmy says he’s sorry that he broke our doll, so I hope you’ll forgive him.” “All right,” said Susie reluctantly, “but I’d feel more like forgiving him, mother, if I could swat him first!” Forgiveness is something that we all value in out families, and work hard to teach our children. But sometimes the message of forgiveness seems to land on deaf ears. Why is it often so hard for our children to forgive each other? Why is it often so hard for spouses to truly forgive each other?
Genuine forgiveness, rather than mere excusing someone, is the hardest action in the whole world (especially when we’ve been hurt deeply). We are all fairly good at excusing minor annoyances by saying “no problem” or “that’s okay”. But when we are hurt unfairly and deeply by someone we love, forgiveness often seems totally impossible. Many divorces occur through a long series of minor and major hurts that never had forgiveness applied to each hurt. If we don’t forgive that initial smaller hurt, then each subsequent hurt accumulates until a root of bitterness grows up in our hearts. At that point, our heart grows cold and numb, and we often doubt whether we ever really loved our spouses. But the real issue is not lack of love. It is lack of forgiveness.
Why is it so hard to forgive? Often it feels so unfair to forgive. After all, they’ve hurt us deeply, perhaps again and again. Maybe they seem to be getting away with it. Maybe they seem to have rebuilt their life while you are still reeling. Perhaps you feel that to forgive them would be letting them get away with it. To be honest we often don’t want to forgive. We want to get even. We may secretly even want revenge. Even “nice people”, when deeply hurt, find them-selves wanting “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.”
Forgiveness is a Revolutionary act. It changes everything. The world’s most famous human being said in the world’s most famous prayer “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” He said that instead of getting an “eye for an eye we are to love our enemies and pray for those who hurt us (Matthew 5:43). His advice, of course, is humanly impossible. How can we bless the very people we want to curse?
Jesus once said “with man this is impossible, but not with God. All things are possible with God.” Alcoholics Anonymous states that change can only occur when we admit our powerlessness over our addictions. Many of us are weak so cry out to the Father and confess how bad you are at forgiving. Ask Him to make you willing to be willing to forgive. Confess your addiction to bitterness and your need for a Higher Power to help you forgive. And remember this: the only person really hurt by your lack of forgiveness is you.
-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier/North Shore News
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
Abusers exercise ongoing control over their victims through fear and guilt. The heart of all addiction is the cycle of fear and guilt. Breaking the cycle of manipulation will release massive breakthrough in a person’s life. As the Good Book puts it, perfect love casts out all fear. Breaking the power of fear is critical to putting the abuse victim on a stable footing. Abusers are always destabilizing the victim’s environment, causing them to ‘walk on eggshells’. Abusers will often use ‘divide and conquer’ techniques that cuts the victim off from their natural support network.
abusers and start blowing the whistle on them, when people say no to manipulation, say no to fear and guilt, say no to the ways of death and destruction. It takes courage to reach out to the support networks around you, whether to your teacher, doctor, social worker, counsellor or pastor, but it is well worth it. It is not your fault. You deserve better. Say no to abuse. Say yes to life. You are worth it. You are loved.
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
One of Dr. Brand’s greatest breakthroughs was the discovery that people with leprosy do not have ‘bad flesh’ that just rots away by itself. In fact, their flesh is just as healthy as yours or mine. They are usually not even contagious. What they lack is the ability to feel pain. As the blood flow is cut off from key parts of their body, their nerve endings die. With the death of their nerve endings comes the death of their ability to sense danger to their bodies. Leprous people live a virtually pain-free existence. Many of us would do anything to live a pain-free life. Yet in fact, the absence of pain is the greatest enemy of the leper. Again and again they wound and impale themselves. Yet they don’t feel a thing.
remarkable ability to shut down pain in our lives. People in North America consume over thirty thousand tons of aspirin a year. North Americans, who only represent 5 percent of the world’s population, consume over 50% of all manufactured drugs, one-third of which work on the central nervous system. We are the most advanced society in the world in terms of suppressing pain. Yet the more we try to shut down pain, the more pain strikes back.
As you are reading this article, you have probably blinked your eyes hundreds of times. Have you ever wondered why we blink? Dr. Brand discovered that leprous people go blind, because they don’t blink. Blinking functions like our car’s windshield wipers, washing away the impurities. It is pain that causes us to blink.
now required to take cats with them, wherever they plan to sleep. I encourage you as you are reading this article to look down at your 10 fingers. How many of us as parents have ever thanked God for our hands that reach out to touch our children, and for the gift of pain that keeps them healthy?
find them-selves wanting “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.”
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