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Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit


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Endorsement by Dr. Tom Nisbett of ‘Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit’

Ed Hird is one of Canada’s true treasures and 012humble Christian leaders. I have enjoyed reading his books, absorbing his teaching, and hiking the hills around Vancouver together.

Ed is expertly qualified to guide the eager student through the New Testament epistle of Titus as it emphasizes the connection of doctrine–committed to faithful men–with holiness of life.

Tom Nisbett, Ph.D., CFRE

-Dr. Nisbett was the keynote speaker at the 40th BC Christian Ashram retreat.  He has taught economics at Eastern New Mexico University, Texas Tech University, Wallen Baptist University, East Texas Baptist University, and LeTourneau University.

for better for worse-Click to check out our newest marriage book For Better For Worse: discovering the keys to a lasting relationship on Amazon. You can even read the first two chapters for free to see if the book speaks to you.

 

-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form.  Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.

In Canada, Amazon.ca has the book available in paperback and ebook. It is also posted on Amazon UK (paperback and ebook), Amazon France (paperback and ebook), and Amazon Germany (paperback and ebook).

Restoring Health is also available online on Barnes and Noble in both paperback and Nook/ebook form.  Nook gives a sample of the book to read online.

Indigo also offers the paperback and the Kobo ebook version.  You can also obtain it through ITunes as an IBook.

To receive a signed copy within North America, just send a $20 cheque (USD/CAN) to ED HIRD, 102 – 15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC, V4A 0A5, Canada.

– In order to obtain a signed copy of the prequel book Battle for the Soul of Canada, please send a $18.50 cheque to ED HIRD, 102 – 15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC, V4A 0A5. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD.  This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $4.99 CDN/USD.

-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca 

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Looking out from the Outlook from Mount Seymour, before the BC Christian Ashram. The theme of the BC Christian Ashram was ‘Mountaintop Renewal’.

 

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Hiking on Mount Seymour in beautiful BC, right before the 40th BC Christian Ashram

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Dr. Tom Nisbett presenting Rev. David Cline a award for 40 years of service to the BC Christian Ashram

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Group Shot of the 40th BC Christian Ashram, with Dr. Tom Nisbett. For information on attending a Christian Ashram near you, click on http://christianashram.org


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Say No to the Herd

By the Rev. Dr. Ed Hird

Every summer the Hird family goes away on a BC Christian Ashram retreat to Sumas Mountain.  The United Christian Ashram movement was founded in 1930 by Dr. E. Stanley Jones in India.  As a close friend of Mahatma Gandhi, Jones wrote twenty-eight books that sold millions, including Christ of the Indian Road and Abundant Living. As the most widely read spiritual author during his lifetime, Jones left a remarkable impact that is rapidly increasing in our social media world.  Jones’ short aphorisms are very quotable, being often reposted on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, and Pinterest.

For the last year, I have been rereading Jones’ book The Way to Power and Poise. Jones memorably warns us against the herd: “If we are herd-centered people, then we are insecure, for the herd is fickle and may quickly change.”  Teenagers, when facing peer pressure, are often tempted to be herd-centered.  When we give up self to the herd, we lose identity, focus and creativity.  The desire to be popular and to fit in can be very deadly.  It takes courage to be ourselves.  Jones taught that if we are dominated by the herd, we are doomed by the herd – doomed to a life of up and downness.

There are four possible attitudes, said Jones, to the herd urge.  We can 1) withdraw from the herd 2) defy the herd 3) succumb to the herd or 4) surrender the herd to God and then live within it.

The problem with the first attitude of withdrawal is that we are left in isolation and eccentricity.  All forms of separation, segregation or apartheid backfire upon themselves.  Emotional cut-off solves nothing.  We are called to be in the herd but not of the herd.

The second attitude of defying the herd leaves us on the defensive.  As Jones put it, you cannot live constantly objecting without becoming objectionable.  Defensiveness is negative and self-defeating.  Healthy people do not define themselves by what they are opposed to.

The third attitude of succumbing to the herd, said Jones, robs you of your voice: “you are an echo; you don’t act; you only react; you are not a person but a thing.”  Mindless conforming is ultimately deforming.  Giving up self to the herd leaves us flat and empty.  Mob mentality, as with the 2011 Vancouver Canuck riot, is rooted in the herd mentality. Many young people going to that Canuck game had no idea how destructive they would become.

The fourth attitude, said Jones, is to break the dominance of the herd by surrendering the herd to God.  Then we cease to be people-pleasers and become God-pleasers instead.  We become people who have the courage to speak, to risk, to be different.  Bullies and dictators no longer control us.  When God is God instead of the herd, then we receive a peace that passes all understanding.  We become non-anxious catalysts that change our families, workplaces and herds.

Only when we let go and let God can the herd become healthy.  The herd will drain you of life and energy, if you let it.  The herd is never satisfied.  You can never do enough to please the herd.  Jesus gives you the ability to transform the herd into a thing of beauty.  Say no to the herd, and yes to life.

To learn more about the BC Christian Ashram retreat, click on the following link.

The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin

-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier/North Shore News

for better for worse-Click to check out on  Amazon our newest marriage book For Better For Worse: discovering the keys to a lasting relationship. You can even read the first two chapters for free to see if the book speaks to you.

 

-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form.  Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.

In Canada, Amazon.ca has the book available in paperback and ebook. It is also posted on Amazon UK (paperback and ebook), Amazon France (paperback and ebook), and Amazon Germany (paperback and ebook).

Restoring Health is also available online on Barnes and Noble in both paperback and Nook/ebook form.  Nook gives a sample of the book to read online.

Indigo also offers the paperback and the Kobo ebook version.  You can also obtain it through ITunes as an IBook.

To receive a signed copy within North America, just send a $20 cheque (USD/CAN) to ED HIRD, 102 – 15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC, V4A 0A5, Canada.

– In order to obtain a signed copy of the prequel book Battle for the Soul of Canada, please send a $18.50 cheque to ED HIRD, 102 – 15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC, V4A 0A5. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD.  This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $4.99 CDN/USD.

-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca 


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BC Christian Ashram involvement since 1975

The first Christian Ashram that I attended in 1975

Gordon Hunter, Percy , and Mary Webster were very memorable speakers. I attended on the personal invitation of my fiancee who had attended the first Christian Ashram in 1974. The deep impact that the Ashram had on her life made me curious to attend and experience a Christian Ashram for myself.

Frank Mierau, David Cline, Ed Hird and Fred Cline singing at the 1994 BC Christian Ashram talent show

Ed Hird serving as Bible Teacher at 1994 BC Christian Ashram

Ed and Janice Hird leading the singing at the 1994 BC Christian Ashram

The Hird family singing at the 1994 BC Christian Ashram

I had the privilege of being the Keynote speaker at the 1997 BC Christian Ashram

Choir singing at the 1999 BC Christian Ashram talent show

Mens Singing at the 1999 BC Christian Ashram

More Mens Singing at the BC Christian Ashram 1999

The Rev Felix Orji our Bible Teacher at the 1999 BC Christian Ashram (later to be the Right Reverend Dr. Felix Orji, ACNA/CANA Bishop)

The Hird sons singing at the 2,000 BC Christian Ashram

Fred Cline, Ed Hird, John Cline, Dave Cline and Frank Mierau singing at the 2,000 BC Christian Ashram

Bernie Smith from Calgary, Alberta, was our keynote speaker for the 2006 BC Christian Ashram

Choir singing at the BC Christian Ashram

The late John Leeburn was our very talented MC for the BC Christian Ashram Talent Show, who had many hilarious Irish stories…

Frank Mireau leading the 2008 BC Christian Ashram Choir at Summit Pacific Park

The Hird sons singing at the 2008 BC Christian Ashram

Dr Jerry Vogt, our keynote speaker, with some of our young adults at the 2008 BC Christian Ashram

for better for worse-Click to check out our newest marriage book For Better For Worse: discovering the keys to a lasting relationship on Amazon. You can even read the first two chapters for free to see if the book speaks to you.

 

– You can learn more about the Christian Ashram in the sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit which is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form.  Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.

In Canada, Amazon.ca has the book available in paperback and ebook. It is also posted on Amazon UK (paperback and ebook), Amazon France (paperback and ebook), and Amazon Germany (paperback and ebook).

Restoring Health is also available online on Barnes and Noble in both paperback and Nook/ebook form.  Nook gives a sample of the book to read online.

Indigo also offers the paperback and the Kobo ebook version.  You can also obtain it through ITunes as an IBook.

To receive a signed copy within North America, just send a $20 cheque (USD/CAN) to ED HIRD, 102 – 15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC, V4A 0A5, Canada.

– In order to obtain a signed copy of the prequel book Battle for the Soul of Canada, please send a $18.50 cheque to ED HIRD, 102 – 15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC, V4A 0A5. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD.  This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $4.99 CDN/USD.

-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca 


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Every Page is stirring me…

From: Michael Kerry [mailto:nut.shell@shaw.ca]

Dear Ed,I thank you for inspiring me for many years.I have fond memories of Christian Ashrams with you and David and Vera Cline. I remember you at St. Matt’s and on occasions we’ve met along the years. It’s good to be on your mailing list and receive your frequent messages.

Above all, though, I thank you for the electronic copy of Battle for the Soul of Canada. I’m reading it as a devotion and its every page is stirring me.

You will recognize me (go to www.churchinabbotsford.com  and click on “About” – “ACLN”).Tomorrow my wife and I are joining the march that takes us from Abbotsford Community Services to St. Matt’s. It will give us the liturgical stimulus that we occasionally enjoy and it will also renew our fellowship with believers who are paying the price.

Bless you Ed,

Michael Kerry

for better for worse-Click to check out our newest marriage book For Better For Worse: discovering the keys to a lasting relationship on Amazon. You can even read the first two chapters for free to see if the book speaks to you.

 

-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form.  Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.

In Canada, Amazon.ca has the book available in paperback and ebook. It is also posted on Amazon UK (paperback and ebook), Amazon France (paperback and ebook), and Amazon Germany (paperback and ebook).

Restoring Health is also available online on Barnes and Noble in both paperback and Nook/ebook form.  Nook gives a sample of the book to read online.

Indigo also offers the paperback and the Kobo ebook version.  You can also obtain it through ITunes as an IBook.

To receive a signed copy within North America, just send a $20 cheque (USD/CAN) to ED HIRD, 102 – 15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC, V4A 0A5, Canada.

– In order to obtain a signed copy of the prequel book Battle for the Soul of Canada, please send a $18.50 cheque to ED HIRD, 102 – 15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC, V4A 0A5. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD.  This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $4.99 CDN/USD.

-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca 


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Sleepless in Seattle

By the Rev. Dr. Ed Hird

Who can forget the classic 1993 comedy ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ where Sam Baldwin (Tom Hanks) and Annie Reed (Meg Ryan) find healing and romance through the delightful impetuosity of Jonah Baldwin (Ross Malinger ), Sam’s media-savy son?  Seattle is a beautiful coastal city to visit that has much in common with Vancouver BC.

Fifty years later…

A few years ago, my family and a Christian Ashram team  had the privilege of ministering at John and Holly Roddam’s Seattle congregation, the original epicentre of Anglican renewal which began fifty years ago in 1960 and continues to impact the world.  I believe that the renewal birthed in Seattle is God’s wake-up call to a sleepy, self-absorbed Church.  As Paul put it in Romans 13:11, “The hour has come for you to wake up from your sleep…”

You may remember St. Eutychus, the patron saint of teenagers, who was literally bored to death during the Apostle Paul’s all-night sermon (Acts 20:9).  You may also remember how Jesus’ closest disciples couldn’t stay awake on the Mount of Transfiguration (Luke 9:32) and the Garden of Gethsemane.  Jesus even had to say to them: “Why are you sleeping?  Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation” (Luke 22:46).

 

I believe that God is blowing the Shofar of renewal across the Anglican Church saying “Wake up, wake up, before it is too late”. Why has so much confusion crept into much of the Anglican Church regarding sexual immorality, new-age syncretism, and mother/father god/dess worship?  Clearly we, as clergy and laity, have been asleep at the switch, instead of being watchmen for our nation.  “Let us not be like others who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

What is the calling of faithful Anglicans in these perilous times?  It is the same calling that many christians parents have on Sunday mornings while attempting to get their teenagers ready for church: “Wake up O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you!” (Ephesians 5:14)  Wake up, O Canada; Wake up O Anglicans; rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you!

 

It is little wonder that previous times of renewal (which means new-again) and revival (which means life-again) have been called ‘awakenings’.  We think especially of the 18th century First Great Awakening with the Anglican priest George Whitfield and Congregational pastor Jonathan Edwards, and the 19th Century Second Great Awakening with Presbyterian clergyman Charles Finney and Yale President Timothy Dwight.

 

How deeply we Canadians need to wake up to righteousness (1 Corinthians 15:34).  How deeply we Anglicans need to recover the discipline of morning prayer, exemplified in the heritage of our Book of Common Prayer.  Then we can cry out like the Psalmist: “Awake my soul!  Awake, harp and lyre!  I will awaken the dawn.” (Psalm 57:8)  Perhaps we can hear Proverbs 6:9-11 as a prophetic calling: “How long will you lie there, you sluggard?  When will you get up from your sleep?…”God is saying to us: “Awake, awake, O Zion, clothe yourselves with strength.  Put on your garments of splendor…Shake off your dust, rise up…Free yourself from the chains on your neck, O Captive Daughter of Zion.”

Being in Seattle for the Christian Ashram weekend was a wake-up call to me.  Like many churches in renewal, the Roddam’s congregation had both a traditional and then a contemporary service on Sunday mornings.  Their congregation proves that the traditional Prayer Book service doesn’t inhibit freedom in the Spirit.  It was wonderful to see the gift of prophecy graciously exercised in both services.  There is such an anointing on their people  who have been soaking in the Spirit for fifty years.  Being around such godly people helped me shake off my dust and free myself from the chains on my neck.

 

What a joy to know that a Canadian Anglican couple, the Rev. John and Holly Roddam, were serving the people of Seattle.  Canada, through the ministry of the Rev. Dennis & Rita Bennett, has received so much through the Bennett’s extensive travels across Canada.  Many Canadians Anglicans can date their awakening to the reading of the Bennett’s bestsellers like ‘Nine O’clock in the Morning and ‘The Holy Spirit and You’.

 

I believe that God sent Canadians servant-leaders to Seattle as a way of saying ‘thank you’ to Seattle for all that they have given to so many in Canada and around the world.  I thank God that the Rev John and Holly Roddam were powerfully used in helping many to be ‘sleepless in Seattle’.  While the Roddams have since move back to the Maritimes, they have left a significant imprint in the hearts and minds of many in Seattle.  I pray that for the sake of the Anglican Church and our lost world, we sleepy believers will awaken and ‘not rest until righteousness shines out like the dawn and salvation like a blazing torch’ (Isaiah 62:1).  Do it again Lord, wake us up for your glory and honour!

 

Note: The majority of the people at the Roddam’s congregation have now left the old St Luke’s building, re-aligned with the Global South Anglicans and formed a new congregation Emmanuel Anglican Church . You are encouraged to check out this vibrant congregation led by Rev Dan Rice.

 

 

The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin

Past Chair, Anglican Renewal Ministries of Canada

-previously published in the Anglicans for Renewal Canada magazine

for better for worse-Click to check out our newest marriage book For Better For Worse: discovering the keys to a lasting relationship on Amazon. You can even read the first two chapters for free to see if the book speaks to you.

 

-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. In Canada, Amazon.ca has the book available in paperback and ebook.

It is also posted on Amazon UK (paperback and ebook ), Amazon France (paperback and ebook), and Amazon Germany (paperback and ebook).

Restoring Health is also available online on Barnes and Noble in both paperback and Nook/ebook form.  Nook gives a sample of the book to read online.

Indigo also offers the paperback and the Kobo ebook version.  You can also obtain it through ITunes as an IBook.

To receive a signed copy within North America, just send a $20 cheque (USD/CAN) to ED HIRD, #102-15168 19th Ave, Surrey, BC V4A 0A5.

– In order to obtain a signed copy of the prequel book Battle for the Soul of Canada, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #102-15168 19th Ave, Surrey, BC V4A 0A5.

For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD.  This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $4.99 CDN/USD.

-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca 


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Thank God for Mothers-in-Law

By Rev. Ed Hird

How often do we celebrate the gift of our mothers-in-law?  Marriage counselors tell us that there are three primary areas of stress in marriages: money, marital intimacy, and in-laws.  Mother-in-law jokes tend to express the ambivalent nature of this most important relationship.  I would like to state uncategorically that I have been blessed with the gift of the mother-in-law that God gave me. It has been eighteen years now since Vera went home to heaven in 2,000, but her impact is still deeply felt.

My mother-in-law found me before my wife did.  By God-incidence, we met each other at a 1974 weekend conference.  She was quite impressed with me, despite my 1970’s longish hair and embroidered overalls.  My mother-in-law really enjoyed the movie ‘Fiddler on the Roof’, and could sing ‘Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match’ by heart.  Unfortunately, when my future mother-law/matchmatcher commended me to my future wife, the assessment was not mutual.  My wife and I had been in the same High School for Grade 12.  We all know what familiarity can breed.  My wife did remember however that even in Grade 12, I had nice eyes.

Vera and David 1944When I reconnected with my future wife at UBC in 1975, I also rediscovered my future mother-in-law.  I was most impressed by the warm hospitality that I always felt in my future mother-in-law’s home.  Some people make you feel stressed by how they fuss over you as a guest.  With my mother-in-law, it all felt very natural and relaxed.  She had that gift of making one feel right at home.

When I lost my voice for 18 months back in 1980, my mother-in-law was one of the people who stood with me in practical and prayerful ways.  She introduced me to the Order of St. Luke the Physician where I learned how to combine the dual benefits of medicine and prayer.  When I am tempted to be cynical about the power of prayer, I think of my mother-in-law who never gave up praying for seemingly hopeless situations.  Once when my wife’s sister was running from the Lord, my mother-in-law recruited people from all around the world to pray without ceasing for her daughter.  As a result of that passionate prayer, the prodigal daughter ‘returned home’ and became a Christ-like example to other seekers.  My mother-in-law symbolizes the call to ‘never, never give up.’

“Like mother, like daughter” goes the familiar saying.  Forty-one years into my marriage, I am now more aware than ever how much a mother influences her daughter.  I have counseled various women whose experiences with their mothers have left them emotionally crippled and unable to share love.  I give thanks to God that my mother-in-law raised my wife in an atmosphere of love and caring.  I know that without that foundational nurturing, my last 41 years of marriage would have been a very different experience indeed.  I am grateful to be married to a loving wife and mother who learned mother-love from someone who really cares.

Vera and David 1945My mother-in-law has had some real setbacks in her life over the years, but she never let it defeat her.  She always bounced back.  Family and faith mean the world to her.  Day in and day out, she was always looking for ways to comfort and encourage other people, both young and old.  Even on her hospital bed near the end of her life, she was still counselling people.   Rather than moaning about her own problems, she was remarkably other-centered, truly loving her neighbours as herself in a very Christ-like way.

One of her greatest contributions in my life has been her encouraging my involvement in the Christian Ashram retreat movement.  For 36 years now, I have attended the BC Christian Ashram each summer spending time learning how to be a healthier and more whole person.  I can honestly say that the renewal that I have experienced in the 40 Christian Ashram retreats that I have attended have made me more peaceful, more forgiving, and more restful.  I would commend this upcoming BC Christian Ashram Retreat  to anyone who is really seeking.

What more can I say except ‘thank you’ for my irreplaceable mother-in-law?  My prayer for those married couples reading this article is that we will take time to express our gratitude to our mothers-in-law.  Life is shorter than we think.

The Reverend Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin

-award-winning author of the book Battle for the Soul of Canada

for better for worse-Click to check out our newest marriage book For Better For Worse: discovering the keys to a lasting relationship on Amazon. You can even read the first two chapters for free to see if the book speaks to you.

 

-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. In Canada, Amazon.ca has the book available in paperback and ebook.

It is also posted on Amazon UK (paperback and ebook ), Amazon France (paperback and ebook), and Amazon Germany (paperback and ebook).

Restoring Health is also available online on Barnes and Noble in both paperback and Nook/ebook form.  Nook gives a sample of the book to read online.

Indigo also offers the paperback and the Kobo ebook version.  You can also obtain it through ITunes as an IBook.

To receive a signed copy within North America, just send a $20 cheque (USD/CAN) to ED HIRD, 102-15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC, Canada V4A 0A5.

– In order to obtain a signed copy of the prequel book Battle for the Soul of Canada, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, 102-15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC, Canada V4A 0A5.

. For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD.  This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $4.99 CDN/USD.


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Secrets to a Healthy Marriage

By the Rev. Dr. Ed Hird

Reflecting on what makes a marriage work, I was struck by how vital is the gift of forgiveness.  My wife, by the way, is very gifted at forgiving, probably because I have given her so much practice.  My wife is also very patient and persevering, as I have noticed that often in our marriage, it has taken me a while to really grow and change.  The fact that she never gives up on me, and that she keeps on believing the best for me, is a wonderful gift indeed.

I recently read a fascinating book entitled ‘Men & Women: Enjoying the Differences’ by the best-selling author Dr. Larry Crabb.  He commented that ‘self-centered living is the real culprit in marriages with problems.  Other-centered living is the answer.’  Many of us enter marriage thinking that our spouse will meet our deepest needs.  We then feel cheated when they don’t, and begin to close our hearts.  How many of us enter marriage with the view that we are there to serve our spouse?  How many of us see marriage as a way of serving God?  A marriage where both partners are committed to serving one another, to ‘washing one another’s feet’ is a marriage in which self-centeredness gets sidelined.  What will it take, says Dr. Crabb, to realize that our selfishness is without excuse and that our first job, in our friendships and marriages, is to recognize our selfishness and learn how we can change?

One thing that men and women have equally in common is that we are all equally self-centered and selfish.  Little growth in marriages take place, says Dr. Crabb, until we realize that the disease of self-centeredness is fatal to our souls and marriages.  Nothing exposes our self-centeredness more clearly than anger.  Because our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9), we have an amazing ability to justify our own anger and bitterness towards our spouse, while simultaneously excusing our own bad attitudes.  Being angry at our spouses can be very attractive, because it makes us feel both powerful and self-righteous.  Having counseled dozens of couples over the years, I am continually amazed at the self-deception of many who convince themselves that the problem is their spouse, and that their personal faults are far more minor and merely reactive.  Self-centeredness is a cancer that blinds us from seeing that the problem is not merely our spouse; the problem is ourselves.

Our culture is saturated with excuses for everything.  It is not my fault.  It’s my spouse’s, my parent’s, my government’s, or my boss’ fault.  A.A. calls that ‘stinking thinking’.   Few of us are willing to do a thorough moral inventory of our own personal faults.  The bible uses a short, unpopular word for self-centeredness.  It calls it ‘sin’.  Sin doesn’t mean that we are axe-murderers or child molesters.  The heart of the word ‘sin’ is the ‘I’ at the middle.  The heart of most marriage problems is self-centered sin.

Dr. E. Stanley Jones, founder of the Christian Ashram, once said that ‘there can be no love between a husband and wife unless there is mutual self-surrender.  Love simply cannot spring up without that self-surrender to each other.  If either withholds the self, love cannot exist.’  A man and his wife were having painful marriage difficulties. The wife went away to a Christian Ashram, and surrendered her marriage to the Lord.  When she returned home, her husband said to her: ‘Well, Miss High and Mighty, what did you learn at the Ashram?’  She replied: ‘I’ve learned that I’ve been the cause of all our troubles.’  She got up from her chair, came around beside him and knelt, folded her hands and said: ‘Please forgive me. I’m the cause of all our troubles.’  At that moment, her husband nearly upset the kitchen table, while getting down on his knees beside her.  He blurted out, ‘You’re not the cause of all our troubles — I am.’  There they met each other — and God.  Each surrendered to Jesus, then they surrendered to each other and were free.  Now this couple, instead of continually criticizing each other, are one in love and forgiveness.

My prayer for those reading this article is that many may find victory through surrender.

 

The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin

-award-winning author of the book Battle for the Soul of Canada

-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier/North Shore News

for better for worse-Click to check out our newest marriage book For Better For Worse: discovering the keys to a lasting relationship on Amazon. You can even read the first two chapters for free to see if the book speaks to you.

 

-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. In Canada, Amazon.ca has the book available in paperback and ebook.

It is also posted on Amazon UK (paperback and ebook ), Amazon France (paperback and ebook), and Amazon Germany (paperback and ebook).

Restoring Health is also available online on Barnes and Noble in both paperback and Nook/ebook form.  Nook gives a sample of the book to read online.

Indigo also offers the paperback and the Kobo ebook version.  You can also obtain it through ITunes as an IBook.

To receive a signed copy within North America, just send a $20 cheque (USD/CAN) to ED HIRD, #102-15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC V4A 0A5, Canada.

– In order to obtain a signed copy of the prequel book Battle for the Soul of Canada, please send a $18.50 cheque to ‘Ed Hird’, #102-15168 19th Avenue, Surrey, BC V4A 0A5.

For mailing the book to the USA, please send $20.00 USD.  This can also be done by PAYPAL using the e-mail ed_hird@telus.net . Be sure to list your mailing address. The Battle for the Soul of Canada e-book can be obtained for $4.99 CDN/USD.

-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca