Click to check out The Healing Power of Love on Valentines Day (video) at the FGBMI Langley meeting, hosted by Dennis Spenst.
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a personally signed copy of any of our books within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
Prime Minister Lester Pearson’s wife Maryon once famously quipped “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”[1] The late Billy Graham, who died at age 99, was recently named for the 60th consecutive year in a Gallup poll as one of the ten most admired people in the world, along with Bernie Sanders, Pope Francis, and Bill Gates.[2] It was Ruth Graham his devoted wife for sixty-three years who enabled Billy Graham to be healthy in the midst of relentless international attention. Without Ruth’s loving care for their five children, it would have been impossible for Billy Graham to have taken part in 417 city-wide celebrations in 185 countries, speaking to live audiences of nearly 215 million people.[3] Billy and Ruth Graham were a Valentine’s love story that we can all learn from.
Ruth, who lived her first seventeen years in China, never wanted to marry, intending instead to become a missionary in Tibet. After going to school in North Korea, she moved to Wheaton College in Illinois. There in 1940, she met her future husband Billy who instantly fell in love with her. Ruth was slightly startled by his intense blue eyes. As her biographer Patricia Cornwell put it, “Billy was unlike anyone Ruth had met….earnest, quietly confident, and personal. Clearly he spoke as one who knew God and knew him well…But what interested Ruth was that as Billy escorted her…,he seemed completely unaware of his uniqueness, his poignancy, his gift.”[4] Billy was very nervous around Ruth, but eventually invited Ruth to hear Handel’s Messiah with him. That night Ruth knelt on the carpet by her bed and prayed, ‘God, if You let me serve with that man, I’d consider it the greatest privilege in my life.’[5] Ruth wrote to her medical missionary parents in China, saying: “Despite Bill’s fearlessness and sometimes sternness, he is just as thoughtful and gentle as you want a man to be…he makes you feel perfectly natural and looked after without being showy or obnoxious. Sounds like I’m in love, doesn’t it? Don’t get worried. I’m not.”[6] Both Billy and Ruth were independent and very determined people which led to some early challenges in their relationship. It was normal in Ruth’s family for women to be strong and outspoken, something that Billy had to get used to. In writing to her parents in 1941, she said: “(Billy) isn’t easy to love because of his sternness and unwavering stand on certain issues. Many a night I have come in almost hating the man because I wanted my way in some little thing that was either unwise or foolish or something, and he wouldn’t give in even if it meant losing my love…”[7] Sometimes Billy and Ruth could be the immovable object and the irresistible force. Writing to her parents later in 1941, she said: “(Billy) has his faults and some people object to his fearless, uncompromising presentation of the gospel. But that was the first thing about him that commanded my attention and later my admiration –as I grew to know him better, my trust.”[8]
After accepting his marriage proposal, she visited her sister Rosa in a New Mexico TB Sanitarium. While there suffering from exhaustion, she wrote Billy a crushing letter, telling him that she didn’t think that she was in love with him and that marriage was perhaps unwise.[9] Her sister miraculously recovered, and Ruth went ahead with the wedding. Cornwell commented: “What Ruth would do next, no one could predict, for she was as quietly stubborn as the sphinx and just about as inscrutable…She didn’t necessarily do the practical or the expected.”[10]
One of the greatest challenges to their marriage was how much Billy was away. Ruth often said: “I would rather have a little of Bill than a lot of any other man.”[11] Many of Billy Graham’s sermon illustrations came directly from Ruth’s voracious reading of biographies, histories, novels, books about art and foreign countries.[12] It was Ruth’s deep faith in God that kept her going through many trying times. One time after Billy unexpectedly went with his buddies to Chicago without Ruth, she tearfully prayed: “God, if you forgive me for marrying him, I’ll never do it again.” When he realized how much he hurt her, he was full of tender apologies.[13]Ruth often said: “Sometimes beautiful women develop from adjusting to difficult men.”[14] By all accounts, Ruth was a beautiful woman in body, mind and spirit. Her medical missionary dad, her evangelist husband Billy and her beloved ‘prodigal’ son Franklin all helped her become more beautiful.
In 1963, Billy wrote to Ruth: “How can I find words to express my appreciation for all you have meant to me. Your love and patience with me in my ups and downs…have meant more to me than you will ever know. Your counsel, advice, encouragement, and prayer have been my mainstay….It seems in the recent months my capacity to love you has deepened…I love the wife of my youth more every day!…Yes, I am thankful to God for you…No child ever had a greater mother than our children.”[15]
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a personally signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
The forty day warm-up for Holy Week and the Easter season is known as Lent, an ancient word for ‘spring’. Some people have not heard of Lent, but know about Mardi Gras, which in English is Fat Tuesday. Certain places like New Orleans and Rio are famous for celebrating Mardi Gras. The original purpose of Mardi Gras was to consume all the luxuries like eggs by making pancakes, so that Lent could be a time of balance and moderation.
Similar to how people go in training for an upcoming marathon, Lent is spiritual training for Easter. For things in life to be really enjoyed, it usually takes preparation and anticipation. So what does Lent have to do with flossing one’s teeth? There are six Lenten disciplines that help people prepare for Easter: 1) Prayer 2) Fasting 3)Self-examination 4) Repentance 5) Bible-reading 6) Generosity to the poor. These six Lenten disciplines are not meant to be done only during Lent, but rather especially through Lent. If one only flosses one’s teeth for forty days of the year, their dentist will not be pleased. The purpose of doing something for forty days in a row is to develop new good habits, whether one is going to the gym or changing one’s diet.
Many people believe that prayer is a good thing. Lots of Canadians pray when they are in crisis. But prayer is most effective when it is done daily, in season and out of season, just like with flossing one’s teeth. For many years, I had a mental block about flossing my teeth. I didn’t like how my gums would bleed afterwards. To impress my dentist, I compromised by flossing just before my dental appointments. As dentists can tell the difference, I am sure that my half-hearted flossing impressed no one. Only when I adopted flossing as a daily discipline did my gums stop bleeding, and my dental care improve. Years later, I now floss religiously, first thing in the morning. My teeth don’t feel right until I have flossed. Most recently, I have adopted the daily discipline of using a water pic. 😉
If I had waited until I was in the mood for flossing, I would still be avoiding the discipline of flossing. That is why I am calling flossing a Lenten discipline. Flossing gets me in shape, just like prayer, fasting, self-examination, repentance, bible-reading and generosity to the poor. I don’t always feel like doing any of them, but I become a healthier person when I discipline myself in these patterns. How many people realize that fasting, while initially uncomfortable, can be a key to major spiritual breakthrough? A while ago I wrote about BJ McHugh, an eighty-seven year old marathoner. She tells me that she doesn’t always feel like getting up in the morning and going for a run. Because she disciplines her body, she was able to recently run in the Hawaii Marathon with her son and granddaughter. God wants to renew our youth like an eagle, but we need to co-operate by practicing healthy daily discipline.
Self-examination is another vital Lenten discipline. It is so easy to deceive ourselves that everything is okay. Self-examination shows us where we need to change, perhaps by cutting back on the carbs or by getting out walking on a daily basis. Repentance is about facing the facts about one’s self, the good, the bad and the ugly, and being willing to make systemic painful changes. Perhaps there is someone that we need to forgive whom we have been holding a grudge against. Lent is a good time to reconcile with that person and perhaps even make amends. Everyone believes in forgiveness until it comes time to do it. Forgiveness is a painful part of repentance.
Bible-reading is another vital Lenten discipline. Most Canadians have a bible somewhere in their home, perhaps handed down from their parents or given to them by the Gideon’s. Most Canadians have floss somewhere in their house. Only when we start using the floss, only when we start reading our bibles does anything change. I was raised in a generation that believed that if it feels good, you do it. If I wait until I am in the mood for flossing or bible-reading, my gums will recede and my bible will stay dusty. Discipline saves us from the folly of good intentions.
Canadians are some of the most generous people on earth. Our Judeo-Christian heritage encourages people to be cheerful givers, knowing that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Only the generous are really satisfied with their lives. The more greedy we are, the more grumpy we become. Don’t wait until you are in the mood to be generous to the poor. Don’t wait until you are in the mood to floss your teeth. My prayer for those reading this Lenten article is that we might grow in generosity, in prayerfulness, in bible-reading in ways that will make us all more healthy.
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin
-an article previously published in the Deep Cove Crier/North Shore News
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a personally signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
What is Valentine’s Day without love? Dr. Gil Stieglitz, author of Marital Intelligence, says that love is meeting needs. We
feel loved when someone else meets our needs. They feel loved when we meet their needs.
Without love, relationships don’t last. The Great Physician taught that the greatest commandments are all about love: love God and love our neighbour. Without loving people, we can’t really love God, because God is love. All the commandments are fulfilled when we love each other. We are called to do everything in love, to serve one another humbly in love. Love is called the Royal Law. Jesus taught that the Ten Commandments given us by Moses are about love. When we keep the Ten Commandments from our heart, we are being loving. When we break them, we are being unloving. The Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would have them do to you” is once again about showing love. The greatest love, said Jesus, was to sacrificially lay down our life for another. Because Jesus was so full of love, he gave us a new commandment: love one another as I have loved you. Love, says the Good Book, is patient and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. The greatest is love. Imagine how our world might be different if it was more about giving than taking, more about putting others first ahead of ourselves. How might that affect Valentine’s Day?
How might love and God’s Ten Tips give us a better Valentine’s Day? The first two of the Ten Commandments teach us to lovingly say no to idolatry. When we put another person on a pedestal, they never stay there. They fall off. On Valentine’s Day, love is about honouring and valuing another person without expecting them to be perfect. Other humans make poor idols. They will always disappoint you once the Valentine’s buzz wears off. They are not God and neither are you. We’re just human. A key to a healthy Valentine’s Day is forgiving other’s imperfections.
The third of the Ten Commandments lovingly teaches us to not misuse God’s name. It is interesting how easily we can be tempted to misuse God’s name when life doesn’t go well. How we treat God shapes how we treat others. We need to respect other people’s names, personalities, and unique histories. Putting down others to make ourselves look better always backfires, especially on Valentine’s Day.
The fourth of the Ten Commandments teach us that workaholism kills relationship both with our spouse and our Creator. Busyness is often relational avoidance. If we never fully stop, we can never fully be. We just end up as restless and shallow. Having a day of rest is key to Valentine’s Day breakthrough.
The fifth of the Ten Commandments teaches us to show love through honouring our father and mother. Through forgiving our parents when they make mistakes, we are more able to show love to others on Valentine’s Day. Disrespect is contagious. So is honour and respect for others.
The sixth of the Ten Commandments teaches us that murder is not loving. We can murder people’s reputations through gossip and slander. Love rejects violence to others from the youngest to the oldest, especially on Valentine’s Day. Sadly video games and pornography are becoming more violent, desensitizing many of our younger generation to the importance of gentleness and kindness in our male/female relationships.
The seventh of the Ten Commandments teaches us that adultery is not loving. We show love through rejecting pornography and sexual exploitation. All humans, being made in God’s image, are of equal worth and value, regardless of background. Faithfulness particularly in marriage builds loving families and healthy communities.
The eighth of the Ten Commandments teaches us that stealing is not loving. On Valentine’s Day, we want to be people that can be trusted. We will not take advantage of others. We are here to bless and not to hurt.
The ninth of the Ten Commandments teaches us that telling the truth in love is the way to healthy relationship. When we are deceitful and dishonest, everyone loses, especially on Valentine’s Day. No one wants to marry someone who can’t be trusted.
The tenth and final of the Ten Commandments teaches us that coveting destroys loving relationship. As the Beatles sang, Money can’t buy you love. Greed dehumanizes and destabilizes. Love frees, releases, and strengthens. My Valentine’s Day prayer is that those reading this article will choose the way of love, the way of Christ, the way of the Ten Commandments.
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin
-an article previously published in the Deep Cove Crier/North Shore News
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a personally signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
Valentine’s Day rolls around every year without fail. Husbands forget Feb 14th at their peril. Somehow our wives interpret our forgetting Valentine’s Day as a sign that we don’t care, that we may be putting other priorities like work and sports above them. So, husbands, be warned. Flowers are much cheaper than lawyers.
After almost forty-five years of marriage, I love my wife more now than I have ever loved her. To celebrate our 30th Anniversary, we flew to England to visit with our youngest son, serving then as a youth missionary in Newcastle. It is an amazing gift to be married to someone whom you really like to be with. My wife has been that gift to me. She has been so loyal in supporting our 31-year ministry at St. Simon’s North Vancouver from 1987 to 2018. That is why I dedicated my book ‘Battle for the Soul of Canada’ “with gratitude to my dear wife who has been married to me for almost thirty years, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.” You can imagine that it is not easy to be married to a clergyman, especially with the challenges that faithful Anglicans have been facing in North America.
My wife served for decades as our St. Simon’s NV Music Director, co-ordinating several different choirs and contemporary worship bands. Archbishop David Somerville, who first ordained me, once said that if the devil ever gets into the church, he will come in through the choir. Because music is so closely connected to worship, it makes sense why music can easily be contentious. Sometimes people have worship wars over contemporary songs vs. traditional hymns. At St. Simon’s NV, we decided in 1996 to honour both expressions by offering both a traditional 9am BCP service and a contemporary 10:30am service. Because my dear wife is musically bilingual, she was able to encourage both expressions with integrity. Unlike many church choir directors who are always quitting and creating havoc, my dear wife was a source of musical stability for over two decades. Dynamic music is a key to a vibrant, healthy Church.
My wife and I went to Winston Churchill High School in Vancouver, both graduating forty-eight years ago in 1972. But we only really noticed each other from a distance. We became friends while taking the bus home from the University of British Columbia. She was in Music naturally, and I was in Social Work, dreaming about becoming an Anglican priest. For around a year, we were only good friends. But eventually the penny dropped and I saw the light. My wife really impressed me with her great listening skills, her good sense of humour, and her hard work.
Finally one day in 1975, I invited her to go bike-riding to Little Mountain in Vancouver. The rest is history. Coming back from our second bike ride, I said to her, “Don’t take me too seriously, but relative to two days, I would like to spend the rest of my life with you.” For some reason, this shocked her. But she got over it, and we quickly moved to become engaged. When I introduced her to my mother, my mom said something that she had never said before: “The woman who marries Ed will need to have quarters for the bus”. What she meant is that while I have strong leadership giftings, I work best when I am complimented by someone with strong administrative giftings, who pays attention to the details.
In my first Valentine’s Day article for the Deep Cove Crier over three decades ago, I wrote: “Why do I still enjoy Valentines Day? It’s because all of us have a need to feel loved, even when you’re married. So often romantic love can fade imperceptibly from a marriage. In the busyness of children, work, school and sports, our marriage can easily get lost in the shuffle. Marriage Counselors tell us that romantic love is one of the greatest lacks in modern marriages. The bible reminds each husband to love his wife as his own body, to love his wife as he loves himself, to love his wife just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5).
Husbands, let’s surprise our wives on February 14th and make our family homes the most romantic spot on Planet Earth!”
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
My wife Janice and I will be celebrating our 46th Wedding Anniversary on May 21st. Over four decades later, I can say without reservation that I love her more deeply with each passing year. It is too easy to take one’s marriage partner for granted in our extremely busy world. Yet each of us want to feel special and appreciated. Valentine’s Day is a wonderful opportunity to go to the very heart of what marriage is really all about. Valentine’s Day was birthed in a time much like nowadays when people were encouraged to look down on marriage as an interference with their personal freedoms and careers.
Through attending a Marriage Encounter weekend, I have learned that one of the most romantic things that one can do on Valentine’s Day (and every day) is to write a personal letter to one’s sweetheart.
Despite Napoleon Bonaparte’s extreme busyness in leading France, he took time to write as many as 75,000 letters in his lifetime, many of them to his beautiful wife, Josephine, both before and during their marriage. This letter, written just prior to their 1796 wedding, shows surprising tenderness and emotion from the future emperor.
“I wake filled with thoughts of you. Your portrait and the intoxicating evening which we spent yesterday have left my senses in turmoil. Sweet, incomparable Josephine, what a strange effect you have on my heart! Are you angry? Do I see you looking sad? Are you worried? My soul aches with sorrow, and there can be no rest for you lover; but is there still more in store for me when, yielding to the profound feelings which overwhelm me, I draw from your lips, from your heart a love which consumes me with fire? Ah! it was last night that I fully realized how false an image of you your portrait gives!
You are leaving at noon; I shall see you in three hours.
Until then, mio dolce amor, a thousand kisses; but give me none in return, for they set my blood on fire.”
Each Valentine’s Day, approximately 1 billion letters and cards are sent each year to loved ones. So where does this remarkably popular Saint Valentine’s Day come from anyway? In the city of Rome around 270AD, there lived an Emperor known as Claudius the Cruel. Claudius was having problems recruiting men to serve in his armies, because the men selfishly wanted to stay home with their wives and children. Angry that his men were more loyal to their wives than to himself, Claudius decided to outlaw marriage!
Couples who were in love searched for someone who would help them get married, even in secret. A priest named Valentine performed wedding ceremonies for these desperate young lovers. When a young couple came to the temple, he secretly united them in marriage in front of the sacred altar. Another pair sought his aid and in secret he wed them. Others came and quietly were married. Valentine quickly became the friend of lovers in every district of Rome.
But, such secrets could not be kept for long in Rome. At last word of Valentine’s acts reached the palace and Claudius the Cruel was angry, exceedingly angry. On the orders of Claudius, Valentine was dragged from the temple, away from the altar where a young maiden and a Roman youth stood, ready to be married, and taken off to jail.
Valentine’s jailer had a daughter, Augustine. She was so kind to Valentine during his brutal imprisonment, that Valentine sent a ‘Valentine’s Card’ with a grateful “thank you” message for all that she had done.
Many asked Claudius to release Valentine but Claudius refused to do so. As a punishment for supporting marriage, Valentine was beaten to death with clubs and then beheaded. Valentine laid down his life for others because he passionately believed in the sanctity of marriage. His devoted friends buried him in the church of St. Praxedes. The date of his tragic murder was February 14th AD 270. .
History tells us the first modern valentines’ ‘card’ date from the early years of the fifteenth century. The young French Duke of Orleans, captured at the battle of Agincourt, was kept a prisoner in the Tower of London for many years. He wrote poem after poem to his wife, real valentines, of which about sixty of them remain. These can be seen among the royal papers in the British Museum.
All of my Valentine’s Day Cards to my wife over the past decades have been marked with a string of “X”s to represent kisses. The practice of using an “X” for a kiss grew out of the medieval practice of letting illiterate people sign documents with an “X” to represent their name. This was done in the presence of witnesses and a kiss was given upon the “X” to show sincerity. The “X” then became synonymous with a kiss in the minds of most people. Why did they sign with an “X”? One reason was because the “X” shape represented St. Andrew’s cross which is also used in the Scottish and British flags. But most importantly for our ancestors, the “X” represented the first Greek letter (Chi) in the name ‘Christ’. (That’s why Xmas stands for the ‘Christ’ in CHRIST-mas.)
For our forebears, “X” = Kisses=Love=the Cross=Christ.
As my wife and I will be celebrating several decades of a loving committed marriage, I am reminded that ‘X’ marks the spot in our grateful marriage. ‘X’ has been the open secret to our perseverance through good times and bad times. ‘X’ has been the key to our hanging in there through sickness and health. ‘X’ will be the key to our having and holding till death do us part. My prayer for those reading this article is that each of us, like Saint Valentine, may be open to a personal encounter with the eternal ‘X’, Jesus Christ.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
Is it okay to suggest in this post-modern culture that we as men and women are equal but often different? Too often equality becomes reduced to a sterile sameness. True equality between the sexes involves a joyous celebrating of our very real differences. Men and women are so wonderfully different that many authors have been writing books exploring this unique key to marital and relational satisfaction. We really do come from different ‘worlds’ as men and women.
Gary Smalley, the best-selling author on relationships, has put enormous research in exploring just how male/female differences actually affect us. Smalley comments that “most marital difficulties center around one fact – men and women are TOTALLY different…virtually every cell in a man’s body has a chromosome makeup entirely different from those in a woman’s body.” Dr. James Dobson says that there is strong evidence indicating that the ‘seat’ of the emotions in a man’s brain is wired differently than in a woman’s.
Greater understanding of our differences can bring greater acceptance and love between men and women. Dr. Paul Popenoe, founder of the American Institute of Family Relations in Los Angeles, dedicated most of his working life to the research of biological differences between the sexes. He found that females outlive males by four to eight years because of their greater constitutional vitality and perhaps because of their unique chromosome makeup. Women’s thyroid is larger and more active than that of men, giving them a greater resistance to cold. Women’s blood contains more water and 20 percent fewer red cells. Since the red cells supply oxygen to the body cells, women in general tire more easily. An illustration of this is that when the working day in British factories was increased from ten to twelve hours during wartime conditions, accidents increased 150 percent among women but not at all among men. Women can withstand high temperatures better than men because their metabolism slows down less.
Another important difference is in the area of women’s intuitive gifting. Smalley holds that each woman has a built-in marriage manual within her. She intuitively knows what she needs, what the relationship needs, and what, if anything, is wrong with the marriage. All she needs is a husband who is courageous enough to ask her to share her marriage manual with him.
Neuropsychologists McGuinness and Tribran led a Stanford University research team investigating this unique intuitive capacity. They discovered that women do in fact catch subliminal messages faster and more accurately than men. Someone has observed that women often use logic more as a tool, while men tend to treat logic as the bottom line. In my own life, I have had to retrain myself over the years to stop shutting down my intuitive impressions, in favour of what seemed to be the obvious logical course of action. I have found that when I close down and ignore my intuitive perceptions, they become weaker and much fainter.
Gary Smalley admits that generalizations about gender differences are probably only true 70 or 80 percent of the time. Every individual is indeed an individual. Even so it is amazing how many couples are finding a new lease on their marriage through learning to rejoice in gender differences. Smalley noted how often men tend to be focused on gathering and sharing facts. Facts can far too easily swallow up feelings in marriage. This can lead us as men to be “Mr. Fix-it’s” in our intimate relationships. Yet there is no better way to destroy a healthy marriage than to attempt to fix our wives and solve their problems. Smalley and others remind us that our addiction to fixing our wives must be replaced by a radical commitment to just being there and listening, no matter how helpless and painful that makes us feel. When our wives keep talking about their problems, we often fall into the trap of defensiveness, somehow feeling that we’re to blame. Yet in fact the most healing thing that we can do is to not run, and not defend ourselves, but rather hang in there with our total attention on our wives.
John Gray observes that when a woman gives advice to another woman, it is most often seen as an act of kindness and generosity. Women firmly believe that when something is working, it can always work better. Their nature is to want to improve things. Gray observes however that this “Home Improvement” tendency often backfires when applied across the gender divide. Offering help and advice to a man can make him feel incompetent, weak, and even unloved. Advice in the male world is usually only received well when asked for in the first place. Gray holds that one of the best gifts a wife can give her husband is to abstain from giving him advice, and instead give him acceptance and approval. A man’s deepest fear, says Gray, is that he is not good enough or that he is incompetent. Accordingly one of the best gifts a woman can give her man is to believe in him, and to stand with him, when he begins to doubts his own abilities.
The Good Book calls men to love their wives as themselves and for wives to honour their husbands. Why does it say this? Because as men we are often crippled in expressing romantic love. Why do romance novels sell by the hundreds of millions? Primarily because we men are missing out on this very deep need of our wives to be cared for and romantically loved. Too often our marriages become predictable and stale as a result. Why then does the Good Book call wives to honour their husbands? Because in this dog-eat-dog competitive world, if our wives won’t honour us and believe in us, then no one likely will. When my wife honours me, I feel like a million dollars. My prayer is that many husbands and wives reading this message may learn to rejoice in their glorious God-given gender differences.
-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier/North Shore News
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a personally signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
On a New Year’s Eve, the well-known author Michael Harper was sailing solo on Lake Taupo in New Zealand. Suddenly his boat capsized in a particularly violent squall about a mile offshore. Clinging to the side of the boat and unable to right it, Michael was rescued after an hour in the chilly glacial waters. He nearly died of hypothermia.
When Michael recovered, he asked God why He had saved him and what God wanted him to do. The reply came something like this: “I want you to learn how to love people the same way as I do.” Michael learned that very day that life is meant to be a Love Affair, that life is meant to be dedicated to learning how to really love each other in a genuine way. The famous ethicist Joseph Fletcher wrote that the opposite of love is not “hate” but rather “indifference”. Fletcher writes, “… There is one thing worse than evil itself, and that is indifference to it.” The lowest point to which our society often seems to sink is when it says, I couldn’t care less.’
As Michael Harper struggled with learning how to really love people, he became aware that there are few words in the English language that are more open to abuse than the word “love”. “Love is swampy” is how Joseph Fletcher describes the problem. Much of what is called love today is little more than making sure that our needs are met. Need-centered love, however, is self-centered and narcissistic. True love, said Karl Barth, is when a person gives them self to another with no expectation of a return, in a pure venture, even at the risk of ingratitude, and of that other person’s refusal to make a response of love. That kind of love is very scary because it involves the possibility of being rejected and hurt. That is why we so often prefer self-centered love to other-centered love.
Harper comments that “the widespread identification of the word love with sex indicates that most people think that sex ought to be an experience of love … and that is where the frustration comes in. People feel cheated because sex has not delivered the goods.” A good marriage, says Harper, in which both husband and wife delight to give each others pleasure, and thereby reassure one another of the love that they have for each other, does more for the reestablishment of true love than almost anything else. The bible calls this kind of true love “AGAPE LOVE”. Most of us have been to weddings where a passage is read from the bible telling us about true love: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails (1 Corinthians 13).” it would be helpful for all of us, whether churchgoers or not, to regularly measure our marriage relationships against that standard of Christian love.
I am more convinced than ever that love is what it is all about. That is why the bible even says that God is love … not self centered love, but rather other centered love. Harper reminds us that “Jesus did not come to present a new set of ideas to us. He came to show us the meaning of love. He revealed what love is. He manifested love. The secret of Jesus’ revolution was not the love of power but the power of love.” When Jesus, hung on the cross, he stretched out his arms and said, in effect, “this is how much I love you.” And most amazingly when the Roman soldiers were torturing him and humiliating him, Jesus cried out, “Father, forgive them for they ‘don’t know what they are doing.” Jesus has taught me that the finest quality of true love is its power to forgive. As the late Michael Harper puts it, love without forgiveness is meaningless.
My prayer for those reading this article is that true love may so invade our lives that costly forgiveness will become normal for us in our daily lives.
-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier/North Shore News
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a personally signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
I will always remember Valentine’s Day back in Grade 7. My best friends celebrated Valentine’s Day by having each of us name the 10 girls we liked best in order (1-10). Having only recently recovered from the “girl avoiding” phase, I felt rather hard pressed to name 10 girls I liked best, (especially as there were only 15 girls in our class). So by the time I’d named the 10th girl, I was really scraping the barrel. I figured that the girl that got No. 1 position really deserved something special on Valentines Day. So I bought her a big heart shaped box of chocolates. She was in shock, also delighted. I also invited her to our June Grade 7 graduation dance, which she accepted. Love however can be fickle, so by the time of our dance, one of my “best friends” had taken my girlfriend and squeezed me out of the picture. It was a disappointing end to Valentine’s day!
Where does Valentine’s Day come from anyway? Its official title is Saint Valentine’s Day. The celebration of February 14th appears to refer not to one but two Valentines. The first Saint called Valentine was a Roman Priest martyred on the Flaminian Way under the Emperor Claudius around 269 A.D. The second St. Valentine was a Bishop of Terni in Interamna, who was taken to Rome and martyred, and whose remains were later conveyed back to Terni.
Why do I still enjoy Valentines Day many years later? It’s because all of us have a need to feel loved, even when you’re married. So often romantic love can fade imperceptibly from a marriage. In the busyness of children, work, school and sports, our marriage can easily get lost in the shuffle. Marriage counsellors tell us that romantic love is one of the greatest lacks in modern marriages. The bible reminds each husband to love his wife as his own body, to love his wife as he loves himself, to love his wife just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5).
Husbands, let’s surprise our wives on February 14th and make our family homes the most romantic spot on Planet Earth!
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird, BSW, MDiv, DMin
-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier/North Shore News
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a personally signed copy of any of our books within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
Valentine’s Day’s full title is St. Valentine’s Day, because it was named after two St Valentines. They were both Italian clergy martyred in the 3rd century AD for their Christian faith. Because of their sacrificial love, it has become one of the most popular annual events celebrated by hundred of millions around the world. It has become a traditional date night where a wise husband remembers to take his wife out for dinner, followed perhaps by a movie or theatre production. (Husbands, please note that such dates are much less expensive than divorce lawyer’s fee; so put Feb 14th in your IPhone or Blackberry).
Many years ago in a Deep Cove Crier article about marriage, I wrote the following words: “Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world.” After being posted (unbeknown to me) on hundreds of Romance websites, I was approached to write a chapter for the upcoming Canadian anthology “Hot Apple Cider 2’ about this romantic quote. In Hot Apple Cider 2, I commented that my beloved wife “Janice and I are learning afresh the joy of ordinary pleasures: taking regular time together for peaceful walks, chatting over a cup of tea, listening to each other’s daily experiences, watching a video together, going out for dinner, and even reading together.”
One day I picked up the North Shore News, read Martin Millerchip’s article about Presentation House, and on a whim said to Janice: “Let’s go out on a date night to see Antony Holland’s St Mark’s Gospel.” Being remarkably adaptable, Janice agreed. What a wonderful evening. Unplanned, unexpected, and totally memorable. Happy marriages need to have that sense of adventure, of the unexpected. Boredom in marriage is the devil’s best tool.
Sadly many husbands stop dating their wives after they marry them. “What happened to the man I married?”, many wives wonder. Why was he so attentive before marriage, and now he would rather hang out on the golf course or stay late at work? Our wives deeply need to be romanced, pursued, won over every week. That is one reason why the romance novels are a Billionaire dollar industry, because we husbands are not always putting our wives first. My wife Janice needs to know that she is more important than my work, my hobbies, my writing, my sports. She needs to be Number One under God in my life.
I love to hold my beloved Janice’s hand when we are out on a date. Sitting there in Presentation House, watching Antony Holland perform St Mark’s Gospel, I often reached out to her and gently squeezed her hand when something was really moving. Many people don’t know that Mark’s Gospel is high drama, and when done by a gifted artist, can bring you to tears. The late Antony Holland, at age 91, was literally North America’s oldest leading actor. If I have half as much energy when I am in my nineties, I will be deeply grateful. As Martin Millerchip of the North Shore News put it, Holland’s ‘hard to resist, perhaps like Jesus’. Holland directed plays throughout the Middle East for the WWII Allied forces, and founded Studio 58 at Langara College where my parents attended his plays for many years. (My late mother once told me that Studio 58 initially rehearsed its play in our St. Matthias Oakridge church basement.)
I first became aware of Antony Holland from watching his phenomenal acting in ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’. No one dances quite like Holland in the final ‘Morrie’ scene. Antony Holland is the quintessential actor. He loves what he does. At age 91, he has just started. Love is what motivates him. Love of acting and love of people. In both St Mark’s Gospel and Tuesdays with Morrie, the love of God overflows through Holland.
This Valentine’s Day, may I love my wife even more deeply than Holland loves acting and loves his audience. May my beloved wife know that she means everything to me, that she must never come second, that my heart is still aflame with tenderness for her, forty-three years after I said ‘I do’. May this gift of tender romance be real and life-changing this Feb 14th for your marriage, for your family, for your community.
-previously published in the Deep Cove Crier/North Shore News
P. S. Click this Amazon link to view for free the first two chapters of our new novel Blue Sky.
“I’m afraid there’s been an accident…”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Sandy receives shocking news that her children aren’t safe, which brings back haunting memories of the trauma she experienced as a girl. Then, the unthinkable happens…
A brutal attack puts Sandy on the brink of losing everything she’s loved. Her faith in God and the family she cherishes are pushed to the ultimate limit.
Is healing possible when so many loved ones are hurt? Are miracles really possible through the power of prayer? Can life return to the way it was before?
Blue Sky reveals how a mother’s most basic instinct isn’t for survival… but for family.
If you’re a fan of Karen Kingsbury, then you’ll love Blue Sky. Get your copy today on paperback or kindle.
-The sequel book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit is available online with Amazon.com in both paperback and ebook form. Dr. JI Packer wrote the foreword, saying “I heartily commend what he has written.” The book focuses on strengthening a new generation of healthy leaders. Drawing on examples from Titus’ healthy leadership in the pirate island of Crete, it shows how we can embrace a holistically healthy life.
To receive a personally signed copy within North America, just etransfer at ed_hird@telus.net, giving your address. Cheques are also acceptable.
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
-Click to purchase the Companion Bible Study by Jan Cox (for the Battle of the Soul of Canada) in both paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca
To purchase any of our six books in paperback or ebook on Amazon, just click on this link.
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
Prime Minister Lester Pearson’s wife Maryon once famously quipped “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”
Sandy Brown and her family have just moved to Spokane, Washington where her husband, Scott, is pastoring a new church. With a fresh start, Sandy is determined to devote more time to her four children. But, within weeks of settling in their new life, the Brown family is plunged into turmoil.
spiritual breakthrough? A while ago I wrote about BJ McHugh, an eighty-seven year old marathoner. She tells me that she doesn’t always feel like getting up in the morning and going for a run. Because she disciplines her body, she was able to recently run in the Hawaii Marathon with her son and granddaughter. God wants to renew our youth like an eagle, but we need to co-operate by practicing healthy daily discipline.
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